Uncertainty

How do I describe the feeling?

Uncertainty.

Never had I expected it coming. I was so content living in my own fantasy world without realizing it, although I tried to keep it as real as it can be. I was flying in the air of my own imagination until the day when the arrow of hatred pierced through my heart. The day when I woke up, fell down, and hurt again.

Something so sudden, but yet anticipated. Yes. I was so eager. Eager to have the love I have been hoping for. Eager to swim in the ocean of happiness. Eager to climb the mountain of joy. But have I ever considered that I might be entering my own fantasy world once again?

No.

This complication of mind and heart is making me suffer. I don’t want to know what the ending of the tale is and how it would be. Yes, nobody wants to be hurt. I don’t want to be hurt, again.

River of tears is flowing down. It’s unstoppable.

Ku yakin ini kisah ku nanti,
Namun ku terima kira ia musnah,
Kerna hati ini tak terbagi,
Jauh sekali ia terbelah

Tidak lagiku kuperlu waktu
Tapi kamu, itu ku tahu,
Akhir jelas dalam hatimu,
Di sini aku sedia menunggu.

Kasih ini tak mudah kuberi,
Mungkin suka kerap kubagi,
Namun sayang tidak kucari,
Kerna ia kan datang sendiri.

Aku lelah mengejar bayang,
Pasti ku akan terdampar jatuh,
Kiranya rasa itu hilang,
Akan ku buang kenangan, jauh jauh.

Hug me if you need to
Kiss me if you want to,

Love me if you do,
but love me with your heart…