Somebody Save Me..

Last night, I got the chance to watch Pursuit of Happyness. Notice the Y in the word "happyness"? I know. It's supposed to be spelled as "Happiness" instead of "Happyness". Well, that's what the movie is a all about. Happiness. No matter how wrong you spell it, it will still sound right. Every single citizen of the world wants to be happy. Those who don't want to be happy, at least for once in a lifetime, is better dead or be killed. I'm serious. why am I bringing this "happiness" matter up? Simply because I haven't got any lately. I may looked happy, smiley, cheerful everyday, but that's not what I really have and feel inside.

I'm sitting in my room alone now, thinking bout what lies ahead for me. I have been working for 2 months . I'm not sure whether I'm enjoying the job or not. What I have noticed is that, the job has definitely took half of life away. I can no longer do the things I always do, and I can't spend time with my friends as often as before. The only motivation that keeps me hanging on to the thing that I'm doing right now is, I get paid for it. And the pay is good, for someone like me.
After getting my results a month ago, I felt like I have lost everything. Things got worse when I have to experienced few heartbreaking, painful situations. I am still recovering from it.

My life has been boring for the past few months. Seriously. I don't know what has gotten into me, but I don't feel happy at all. Nothing is fun for me anymore. It's like something has sucked the fun out of me. I woke up every morning, and find nothing to look forward to. Just plain usual stuff that I do. It is just so, empty. Blank. I'm bored. Seriously bored with my life. Sometimes, I tend to easily get bored of people around me, and I know, I shouldn't have that kind of feeling. I'm killing myself by doing that. But I can't help it. I'm starting to feel isolated. It's like I don't belong anywhere. I don't feel like I'm being appreciated by my friends. They don't care about me. My presence will not make any different and my nonappearance means nothing to them. I am nobody. That is what I feel. I am nobody.

I wish I could go somewhere far, and leave everything behind. I don't want to wish I could have a better life but I hope I will have a better life. My spirit is really low right now. I'm hurting inside. For no reason. My soul is ill.

Somebody help me..

4 Pengkritik Setia:

{ Joey } at: 6:02 PM said...

hey there...i know what you're feeling...i am the same too...as you've said...wake up in the morning but nothing too look forward ....

sometimes i feel isolated by my friends....i feel sad and empty.....

i'm all alone and boring..sitting hours in front of pc does make your back hurts..but i can't do anything at all....

but..since i'm blogging ..i found some friends from this cybersphere world...

thanks to them....i really appreciate them...

that's all i want to say...not that you read this comment... :)

{ FAIZUL } at: 7:52 PM said...

salam adi..
i know how you feel bout this coz i had been through such feeling when i was working..

Yap it took half of my life away and im not enjoyed it at all & i wasn't get very well with other workers too.
What i did is i stick to some of my friends and it was okey after that.
.
But if you not so happy just stop it and find another job.

Bout your friends.
i don't think they abandoned you and indeed slowly they will some kind neglect or forget bout you.this is not because of they or ur fault but ur work make it so.you can't avoid it.

What you should do i think do call them sometimes and hangout together.at first u going to feel a lil bit stiff but it will gone eventually.explain bout ur situation right now

u need to accustome ur self with the new surrounding..and it takes time.just smile..ok??
hope help ya alot..

{ Ajami Hashim } at: 3:35 AM said...

alamakkk! adikku kemurungan kah?.. meh sini meh kita gi minum2 @ starbucks lepas keja.. mau?..

p/s: tak aci tau u gi tgk wayang Pursuit of HappYness tuh tak ajak!..

{ Adi Luqman } at: 6:02 AM said...

joey : thank you ya :)

truanta:. i understand what ure saying . hopefully ill be better soon. thanx dear. :)

ajami: boleh aje. nak kena cari masa yg sesuai je. btw..i tgk pursuit of happyness kat dvd ler....bukan kat cinema..hehehe.