Roller Coaster

Life is a like roller coaster ride. Full with ups and downs. The difference is, you can choose to not ride the roller coaster like the ones in any amusement/theme park, but the life's roller coaster, you're bound to ride it no matter what happens.

You can never expect what will happen next. All you know, in just a second, many things can and will happen.Without you anticipating anything. Life is not a bed full of roses. I bet everyone with good sense of mind knows it.

I'm still searching. Searching for something that can truly makes me happy. Sometimes I am jealous of other people. They seems to have a better life than mine. I'm not being ungrateful with what I already have. I'm just being unsatisfied with my situation. Unsatisfied with myself. With people around me.

I don't know what is wrong with me, but everything just seem so wrong all this while. "Friends come and go", someone said to me. I know it's true but can't they actually stay, for real, for once? I have been searching and searching but still, I haven't found any.

Life is just hard now. I really need someone to support me. I'm not afraid to admit that I do and really want to be pampered. To be loved. To be cared. By someone. Sounds so desperate eh? But I don't think I am THAT desperate. I'm just expressing what I really feel. I'm just telling what I really want.

I was wrong. Really wrong. I was blinded by own feelings before this. I wished for something, impossible. I threw away a pearl while trying my very best to own a little black stone. Now the stone is gone, and I have also lost the pearl. Lessons learned.

Sigh..