My Body. My soul. My artwork.
Tak Tercapai Akalmu
Ku congak apa yang didepan ku
Sebelum atur langkah
Ku tahu kan ke mana
Tak mudah aku kan diperdaya
Dengan pujuk dan rayu
Hasut ke dunia mu
Sesungguhnya ku
Lebih dari yang kau tahu
Baik buruknya sesuatu
Selalunya difikirkan dulu
Biar berdentum
Langit runtuh dan menghempap diriku
Tidak tergadai tata susila ku
Yang menggambarkan siapa diriku
Biarlah bergoncang
Bumi di telapak kakiku ini
Namun takkan ku rubah pendirian
Yang membuat aku menjadi aku
Mungkin sukar tuk difahami
Kerna tak tercapai akal mu
Jangan ku kau sasarkan sebagai mangsa
Yang kau sangka mudah rebah
Santun bukan yang ku lemah
Mudahnya rosakkan dari membina
Mencemarkan dari memulia
Tak menghirau dari mengendah
Elyana
2006
p/s: Read the lyrics. It's good. =)
Sebelum atur langkah
Ku tahu kan ke mana
Tak mudah aku kan diperdaya
Dengan pujuk dan rayu
Hasut ke dunia mu
Sesungguhnya ku
Lebih dari yang kau tahu
Baik buruknya sesuatu
Selalunya difikirkan dulu
Biar berdentum
Langit runtuh dan menghempap diriku
Tidak tergadai tata susila ku
Yang menggambarkan siapa diriku
Biarlah bergoncang
Bumi di telapak kakiku ini
Namun takkan ku rubah pendirian
Yang membuat aku menjadi aku
Mungkin sukar tuk difahami
Kerna tak tercapai akal mu
Jangan ku kau sasarkan sebagai mangsa
Yang kau sangka mudah rebah
Santun bukan yang ku lemah
Mudahnya rosakkan dari membina
Mencemarkan dari memulia
Tak menghirau dari mengendah
Elyana
2006
p/s: Read the lyrics. It's good. =)
Paper 8 : Implementing Audit Procedure
Looking for Laila's number. Found it.
*Dialing*
No answer.
Yeen instead.
*Dialing*
"Hello?..Where are you guys?"
"Kitaorang tgh.."
"There you are..."
Watching the car passed by. I closed the book. Walked towards the cute silver MyVi. Greeted them. I was still outside the car. They were inside. Eating. The window opened.
"Hey may I come in?"
"No..haha. Tak boleh" Jokingly.
I went inside.
"Are you guys ready?"
"Enah demam. Tak boleh bangun...bla bla bla".
Cant remember what she said. Laila I mean. We talked. I tried to read some more. I can't. So, I just talked. We talked. I watched them eat.
*Tik tok tik tok tik tok*
It was already 2.30 pm. We were outside the car. Got our stuffs. Went inside the exam hall. Nobody's there except for the invigilator and supervisors. I looked for my desk, 8009. Nice number. Hopefully, it's a lucky number too. *Prays* I filled in the form. I filled everything. As usual. Few more candidates came in. I've finished doing what I was supposed to do. I waited. They spread out the question papers. I waited.
"It's 3. You may start"
I opened the booklet. I read the first question. I smiled. Not bad. I read the second question. I didn't smile. I read the third question. I quickly turned my head. I read the last question. I didn't know what to think. I answered the all the questions I can answer. I don't care whether its the correct answer. I just answer, my answer. Take it or leave it. I left few questions. Well, I didn't know know what to answer and I don't have my answer to answerthose questions. I tried. I went to the toilet twice. Just to waste some time.
"Put down the pens. We will collect your papers now"
She took mine. I asked Enah bout the paper. She said, ada senang, ada susah. I knew it. I asked Laila and Yeen. They said, it was okay. I knew it. I was the only one. I'm not sure whether I will pass or fail. I don't care. We walked out the hall. Went to Laila' s car. I got my bag. Went straight to my car. I started the engine. It was raining. I drove away from the place. Gonna come back tomorrow. Taxation this time. I hope it will be better. I want to smile. Please, let me smile. Chow!
December 7th
Yesterday, something was not right with my video ipod. The night before, I listened to the songs while charging the ipod. So I fell asleep. I woke up the next morning, err...I shall say it as, afternoon, because I woke up around 12 o' clock. I took off the charger from the ipod, but suddenly it hanged. You know, the screen was like, frozen. It didn't respond to anything. I tried connecting it again to the charger. Nothing happened. I tried connecting it using USB cable to the computer. Same thing. I panicked! What should I do? I serched for help on the net. I found it. I tried. Nothing! It didn't respond to anything at all. It was like, dead. I was so terribly sad. It's video ipod for god sake. It's my..friend. Sorta. I don't want anything bad to happen. I treasure it. I may be over reacting now (I was anyway), but who wont, right? So, I thought prolly I have to send it for service. Maybe something is not right with the battery or whatsoever. I asked my friend, where should I send it over. He said Low Yatt Plaza. He also said the battery would cost, RM150. Wow. That's expensive. I could buy two Esprit t-shirts with that amount of money. Well, there is a promotion going on there. One t-shirt for RM69.90, two for RM120. Cheap eh? I don't really care about the price, what I like is the cutting, pattern and whether it fits me well or not. I'm a kind of person who loves to wear, I should say, small shirts.
Why?
I'm a small person
My height?
162 or 164 cm (not sure).
Weight?
Last time I checked, 45 kg.
You are, Small
I know. I don't like baggy t-shirts.
Shirts?
Love em.
Why?
Smart. Expecially stripes.
Wear it?
I do.
Wait. I have changed the topic. I shall get back on track. So after that, I browsed the net to look for apple service centre. Damn! I can't find anywhere near my place. Not even in KLCC. What the Fish! There is one somewhere near KLCC. Megan Avenue whatsoever you call it. I know the place, but I'm not familliar with it. Sigh! I sensed trouble in paradise. Haha. I decided to just wait for today. As for today, my plan was to go to Low Yatt Plaza to get my beloved ipod fixed, and buy a pair of computer headphone. Not for me, but for somebody. But today's planned has been changed, last night. After feeling so bad about my ipod, I checked its condition once again. Just to make sure, I really need to send it for service. To my surprise, the ipod was responding. It showed some battery picture. Meaning, I have to charge it. Yay! So, I pluged the cable in. Woosh! It's working!!!!! I don't need to service it. I don't need to change the battery. I don't need to pay RM150. I can shop!!..erm..no, I won't.I can't. Huhu. So I woke up this morning..err...afternoon (again) with a different plan. I called my friend to ask him about today's plan. He said he wanted to go to a salon to get his hair straghtened. So, we fixed the time and agreed to meet at my place and use my car.
To?
Bukit Bintang
Was the road okay?
No
Why?
Jammed.
Where?
Maharalela-Hang Tuah.
Pissed off?
Duh.
Why?
I was tired.
Because?
I was having chest pain.
Chest Pain?
Yeah. Something was not right. My heart palpitated. Badly.
Why?
I don't know. I felt so tired. So tired to breathe. :(
After we parked our car at Times Square, we headed straight to The Hair Connection Academy at Sungei Wang Plaza. Unfortunately, my friend can't get his hair straightened there because it was kind of late for the academy people to give their service, but I decided to wash my hair. So my friend left me there and he went to find other salons that can give him the service that he wanted. I stayed there and got my hair, wash, treated and blowed. My hair is kinda long now, so I need to do something and take care of it. I don't want it to look like a super mess. Why super? Because it is kind of a mess now. Haha. Anyway, my friend finally got a place so he sms-ed me to tell me about it. I said I will be there after I have completed my, erm, mission. Both of us, completed our mission at around 6.30 pm. We headed back to Times Square. I still need to get the headphone. After that, pusing balik , and went to Starhill. We had dinner plan with another friend. He treated us . We had dinner at Shook. I ordered, sirloin steak. It was okay. I think the appetizer was better. I can't remember the name . It was something like, Snow Prawn. Whatever! But it was really nice. We had some conversations. After dinner, we decided to just get back home. We did. Such a tiring day. And I'm tired right now. I shall call it day. Hopefully, there won't be anything wrong with me. I don't wanna get sick. Goodnite. Chow!
Why?
I'm a small person
My height?
162 or 164 cm (not sure).
Weight?
Last time I checked, 45 kg.
You are, Small
I know. I don't like baggy t-shirts.
Shirts?
Love em.
Why?
Smart. Expecially stripes.
Wear it?
I do.
Wait. I have changed the topic. I shall get back on track. So after that, I browsed the net to look for apple service centre. Damn! I can't find anywhere near my place. Not even in KLCC. What the Fish! There is one somewhere near KLCC. Megan Avenue whatsoever you call it. I know the place, but I'm not familliar with it. Sigh! I sensed trouble in paradise. Haha. I decided to just wait for today. As for today, my plan was to go to Low Yatt Plaza to get my beloved ipod fixed, and buy a pair of computer headphone. Not for me, but for somebody. But today's planned has been changed, last night. After feeling so bad about my ipod, I checked its condition once again. Just to make sure, I really need to send it for service. To my surprise, the ipod was responding. It showed some battery picture. Meaning, I have to charge it. Yay! So, I pluged the cable in. Woosh! It's working!!!!! I don't need to service it. I don't need to change the battery. I don't need to pay RM150. I can shop!!..erm..no, I won't.I can't. Huhu. So I woke up this morning..err...afternoon (again) with a different plan. I called my friend to ask him about today's plan. He said he wanted to go to a salon to get his hair straghtened. So, we fixed the time and agreed to meet at my place and use my car.
To?
Bukit Bintang
Was the road okay?
No
Why?
Jammed.
Where?
Maharalela-Hang Tuah.
Pissed off?
Duh.
Why?
I was tired.
Because?
I was having chest pain.
Chest Pain?
Yeah. Something was not right. My heart palpitated. Badly.
Why?
I don't know. I felt so tired. So tired to breathe. :(
After we parked our car at Times Square, we headed straight to The Hair Connection Academy at Sungei Wang Plaza. Unfortunately, my friend can't get his hair straightened there because it was kind of late for the academy people to give their service, but I decided to wash my hair. So my friend left me there and he went to find other salons that can give him the service that he wanted. I stayed there and got my hair, wash, treated and blowed. My hair is kinda long now, so I need to do something and take care of it. I don't want it to look like a super mess. Why super? Because it is kind of a mess now. Haha. Anyway, my friend finally got a place so he sms-ed me to tell me about it. I said I will be there after I have completed my, erm, mission. Both of us, completed our mission at around 6.30 pm. We headed back to Times Square. I still need to get the headphone. After that, pusing balik , and went to Starhill. We had dinner plan with another friend. He treated us . We had dinner at Shook. I ordered, sirloin steak. It was okay. I think the appetizer was better. I can't remember the name . It was something like, Snow Prawn. Whatever! But it was really nice. We had some conversations. After dinner, we decided to just get back home. We did. Such a tiring day. And I'm tired right now. I shall call it day. Hopefully, there won't be anything wrong with me. I don't wanna get sick. Goodnite. Chow!
I Laughed, I Cried, I Smiled
Yesterday, was my first day of exam. The night before, was the last night for me to study the paper that I sat yesterday and I was accompanied by someone, but not physically. I woke up the next morning feeling all nervous since I was not ready to do the paper. I drove all the way to the exam centre. I waited for the time. I got into the exam hall. I looked for my exam desk. I smiled. I filled up the form. I waited. I took out all my stationaries. I talked to my friends beside me. I wished them, good luck. I wished myself too. I recite some doa quietly. The papers were spread out. I waited till they told me to start. "Okay, it's 3 o' clock, you have 3 hours to finish the paper, and you may start now." I opened the booklet. I was right about being unprepared for the exam.
The questions?
Unexpected.
The difficulties?
Unexplainable.
Easy?
Supposedly.
But why?
Lack of preparation.
Elaborate please?
I didn't pay much attention to the subject.
Because?
I'm not into it.
I answered the first question. I tried not to waste any time. So I read carefully, each and every line to know the point of the question. I got the point, but I don't know the meaning. I answered, but not with full confidence. It may be right, it may be wrong. It will be THE question. It indicates, whether or not, I will pass the paper. If my answer for the question is mostly correct, the chances of me passing, is there. If it's wrong, I will have to make sure, I allocate a certain amout of money next year, to be one of the future, "repeaters". Hopefully, I will not have to face that. I didn't answer the 2nd question because I can't.
The 3rd question?
Almost a disaster.
Was it hard?
Tricky.
What about the 4th?
Pathetic.
Why?
I answered pathetically.
Was it hard?
No.
So?
I didn't remember about the topic.
Pass or fail?
God knows.
It was 6. "Time's up. Put down all the pens, we will collect you papers, don't forget to write your registration number and desk number on the question paper". I was wondering why. Like we will get our question papers back. So not. " You may leave the hall now. Thank you." No, thank YOU. I just smiled at the end of the session. I didn't say anything about the paper to any of my friends. Well, I didn't voice out my opinion. I heard my friends talking. Whining. Some were smiling. Maybe it was okay for them. Some were making faces. Well, we are in the same league, people. I straightaway went to my car. Drove like a mad man.
Why?
Afraid I might be late.
For?
A movie.
Where?
KLCC.
With?
My friend, Achap.
What movie?
CINTA.
Was it good?
Marvelous.
That's all?
Fantastic. Great. Astonishing. Fabulous. Awesome. Stunning. Phenomenal. Spectacular...and a tear jerker.
Comments?
Not now.
Why?
I will break down.
Because of?
Love. Cinta.
I laughed. I cried. I smiled.
Soon, I will give my comments. Till next time. Chow
p/s: those are not mine
19th
I'm 19 now. Yesterday was my birthday. I was born on the same date, 19 years ago. This year's celebration was definitely better than last year's. Last year, although my friends took me out to for some meals and jalan-jalan, but I ended up celebrating it alone, watching Harry Potter, without company. It was quite sad, and lonely. Yesterday, I spent the whole day out. I spent my day with the people who has given me the chance to actually love and care for them all this while. It was a nice day, although kind of tiring. Being 19 is not really a big deal for me. Age is just a number. The more important thing is how you handle yourself, how you think, how you think of other people, how you create good relationships and bonds with others, how you cope with problems, how you solve those, how you accept your flaws, how you control your behaviour, your manners, how you deal with unwanted situation, how mature is your thinking, how professional is your acting and the list goes on. Those things are far more important than just being 19. I'm happy with what I have been given by god. The one and only. I'm grateful to have my family, my friends, and so many other things. To tell you the truth, I'm in a situation where I'm not supposed to face at this kind of age I guess. Sometimes I think, I matured to early than my age. Sometimes I think I'm more serious than what I'm supposed to be at this age. I just can't avoid of thinking about the future, what lies ahead, the consequences of my doings, the possibilties of something to happened because of my actions and again, the list goes on. I want a happy life. I guess I do own a happy life., but sometimes I feel I am not that happy. I hate that. I have been dealing with this issue for quite sometime. It has tortured me like hell. Seriously. Last night I had the chance to express my feelings to a friend of mine. I was so stressed, I would say. I hate to be controlled, I hate the fact that I feel I am being controlled. I hate to be pushed and the fact that I am being pushed, is pushing my patience to its limit. I don't like my actions to be supervised 24-7. I WANT my own space. I WANT my freedom. Freedom to know anyone that I want to know. Freedom to go anywhere that I think is appropriate for me to go. I WANT to spend my time with my friends. Fyi, I have more that ONE friend. I WANT to enjoy my youth. I WANT to explore the world, and I WANT to explore it on my own but with necessary guidance. How I wish, I could just go somewhere right now. Somewhere far, where I can actually be on my own , enjoy the peace, enjoy the views, enjoy the freedom. Somewhere where I can relax my mind, relax my feelings, and just be all by myself. I don't need to report, what I am doing, don't need to tell others what I'm gonna do, don't need to feel as if I'm being owned by someone. I will tell myself, that I'm am owned by someone, when I think I have found the right person to own me. I don't want anyone else to think, that they own me, and have rights to know EVERY SINGLE thing that's happening in my life, unless, I have given them the AUTHORITY to do so. I will personally, show them that they own me, and they are allowed to know, what they want to know. I have my own heart. I want my privacy. I want my rights. I decide who I want to have relationship with. I decide what I want. There will always be a line. No matter how fine the line is, it is still A LINE. Don't ever cross it...because it will hurt me. It has been quite a year. I hope the year that I am going through right now, is going to be better, because I'm tired of everything, right now. Chow!
Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word
One of my fav ballads of all time. Originally performed by Sir Elton John. Anyway, I got this video from Perez Hilton (check out the site, it's cool). Watch it here :
She's Leona Lewis. United Kingdom X-Factor's contestant ( click the link for more information about the show) . I really love her perfomance. I think this is the best rendition of the song that I have heard so far. She is good. She reminds me of Mariah Carey. Man, her pipes are brilliant. I love how she improvised the song. Made it more beautiful with better emotions. She delivered it really well. I believe the story that she's trying to tell. She's gonna be big . She will. Enjoy guys! =)
She's Leona Lewis. United Kingdom X-Factor's contestant ( click the link for more information about the show) . I really love her perfomance. I think this is the best rendition of the song that I have heard so far. She is good. She reminds me of Mariah Carey. Man, her pipes are brilliant. I love how she improvised the song. Made it more beautiful with better emotions. She delivered it really well. I believe the story that she's trying to tell. She's gonna be big . She will. Enjoy guys! =)
A Day With Baju Melayu, Without Air Cond
A boring weekend for me. Nothing much to talk or write about. Spent my time chatting with friends, sharing stuffs and merepeking. Haha. I enjoyed it anyway. 3 more weeks left before my external exam. Frankly speaking, am not prepared. I guess I have to talk less and act more for these coming few weeks. Anyway, Nabil is gonna come back on the 15th. Miss him very much. We have been talking through MSN only.
Yesterday I went to Miss Mimi's open house at Bukit Antarabangsa. Man, I love that area. Her place is quite okay. Kinda cozy and nyaman. Well, when she was inviting me and my 2 other friends for her open house, she told me to wear baju melayu along with sampin. Well I did, with open heart, but the best part is, I was the ONLY one who was wearing baju melayu yesterday. Wargh! The other guys were wearing casuals only. Damn! That was not the only "best" thing that happened yesterday. My car air-cond got problem. Can you believe that? Hot baju melayu, no air-cond. Perfect! Just perfect! Luckilly, my body was in a good mood to control the sweat,so I didn't sweat like crazy. Thank god. After having my meal, Laila arrived with her baju kurung with lots of beading. She was beautiful, as always. Woops! Haha. Well, it is definately not wrong for me to appreciate god's creation, right? Ngeh3. We had some kuih raya. I enjoyed spending my time with her and I love the food except for the fried bee hoon. Kinda yucky. Both of us agreed to leave the place at 5, and we did. Laila went back to her bother's place somewhere in Bukit Antarabangasa also, while I headed back home. It was a nice day. =)
Yesterday I went to Miss Mimi's open house at Bukit Antarabangsa. Man, I love that area. Her place is quite okay. Kinda cozy and nyaman. Well, when she was inviting me and my 2 other friends for her open house, she told me to wear baju melayu along with sampin. Well I did, with open heart, but the best part is, I was the ONLY one who was wearing baju melayu yesterday. Wargh! The other guys were wearing casuals only. Damn! That was not the only "best" thing that happened yesterday. My car air-cond got problem. Can you believe that? Hot baju melayu, no air-cond. Perfect! Just perfect! Luckilly, my body was in a good mood to control the sweat,so I didn't sweat like crazy. Thank god. After having my meal, Laila arrived with her baju kurung with lots of beading. She was beautiful, as always. Woops! Haha. Well, it is definately not wrong for me to appreciate god's creation, right? Ngeh3. We had some kuih raya. I enjoyed spending my time with her and I love the food except for the fried bee hoon. Kinda yucky. Both of us agreed to leave the place at 5, and we did. Laila went back to her bother's place somewhere in Bukit Antarabangasa also, while I headed back home. It was a nice day. =)
Good Night & Good Luck
My first post, and prolly the last for today. Am concentrating for my audit paper tomorrow morning. Yea rite, concentrate lah sangat! Anyway, nothing much to say about me today. Didn't come out with anything good, wasn't really a productive day. I watched again the Housewives episode, and guess what? I cried for the second time. This time , it was more intense. I can really feel the emotions. I have no idea why , and how, I could cry. I was actually feeling sad, deep down inside, but I am not sure what is the real reason behind it. At this very moment, I'm pretty sure, I am not 100% okay with my life. I feel empty. Emptiness that bothers me. I have everything, yet I still feel something is not right. I am missing something, but I don't know what is the thing that I am missing right now. I could not let myself get distrated by this kind of feeling. I have plenty of other things to think about. I don't wanna think of any problems at the moment.
"Enjoy the beautiful day. We get so few of them"- Mary Alice Young
That's exactly what I'm gonna do. Good night and good luck to..me =) Chow~
Bang : We Can't Prevent What We Can't Predict
Bang! I just watched the latest episode of my favourite tv series, Desperate Housewives. Why do I want to write about it of all sudden? I have my reason. That was by far, the best episode ever! It was THE moment of Desperate Housewives. Maybe I'm a bit exaggerating, but I presonally think that was the best one. I have never felt so touched by any of its episodes. I cried. Seriously. I just did. It's hard for me to cry over a story, unless it's damn good and touches my heart. So basically, what I am trying to say here is, Desperate Housewives is definately a good show. I have been following the series since the debut, and i enjoyed watching it. I love all the actors, the characters, the storyline and of course the twists and turns. Marc Cherry is a great writer. He knows how to make a story a little more interesting and different. The last few episodes of the new season of Desperate Housewives were a bit , plain, but the latest one was the bomb. I just love it. I really do (You prolly know how I love it by now). I always wonder, how can they possibly, kill an annoying character, in a very , very touching way, until we sympathize the person, and do not want him or her to die? How can they do that? I mean, we have already hated the character, but suddenly, we do not want them to be killed. It's ironic, and the worst part is, they managed to make me rain. Haha, if you know what I mean. I can't wait for the next episode. I won't be expecting much, but I hope it will be good too. It can't be good always, nanti terover pulak. I prolly should stop writing now. Now only I realised that I have been writing more than a post lately. Is it good or bad? Nah.Don't care. It's my blog, my territory, and nobody can kacau me. Chow! Nitey!
p/s: The story ended with a bang. "We can't prevent what we can't predict" - Mary Alice Young.
Am NOT Late
Phew. Got back home around 4.30 pm just now. I sat for 2 papers today. Well, if you have read my previous post about me being late, luckilly I was not. I reached coll around 5 minutes before the exam starts. I was not ready for it , seriously. I just did what I can do. For PCPM, there were 4 questions, I had to answer all of them, but I only managed to answer the calculation parts. I didn't answer the theories because I have no idea what to write. Like I said, i wasn't ready for that paper. I didn't read much. I just browsed through the exercises which I have done, and that was it. I didn't even bother to open up the text book. I was not in the mood to study everything. Whatever! I ahd lunch with Laila and Yeen. I ordered plain rice with ayam masak merah (haven't eat it for like more than a month), Yeen ordered fried beehoon and Laila had Kuey Teow Hailam. Basically, we had good time , eating while revising our taxation book. The next paper was , taxation of course. I started answering the questions at 2.15 pm and I finished it off aprroximately, 1 hour 45 minutes later. It was supposed to be a 3 hour paper, but I have no idea how can I conclude the paper that fast. So I decided to head back home early. On my way home, a friend of mine, Afkhar called me and we talked for a while. I like talking to him anyway. It was a short conversation though. Anyway, today, the traffic was good. It was kind of smooth and I reached home earlier than I thought. Afkhar called me again, and we talked for a while more. The line was bad, so I called him back. Aiyo, now I'm hungry la pulak. I want to talk to Saiful first and see how he's doing. I don't know what I'm gonna do later. My friend asked me to go to Sg. Wang and lepak with him, prolly I won't cause it's raining now, and I want to start learning how to save my money. Haha. Gotta go now. Will write later. Tata
Am Late!
Am getting ready for my coll. I don't know whether I will be able to answer the papers today. Especially costing. I'm just gonna do what I can do. The rest I'll leave to god. Better get going now. Haven't taken my breakfast yet. Was busy siaping myself. Thought of having the cereals but am not sure whether I have the time. The paper starts at 9 o'clock but I'm still here, at home. Hope I'll reach there on time. Gotta go. Wish me luck!
Demi Waktu
Aku Yang Tak Pernah Bisa
Lupakan Dirinya
Yang Kini Hadir
Di Antara Kita
Namun Ku Juga Takkan Bisa
Menepis Bayangmu
Yang Selama Ini Temani
Hidupku
Maafkan Aku Menduakan Cintamu
Berat Rasa Hatiku
Tinggalkan Dirinya
Dan Demi Waktu
Yang Bergilir Di Sampingmu
Maafkanlah Diriku
Sepenuh Hatimu
Seandainya Bila
Ku Bisa Memilih
Kalau Saja Waktu Itu
Ku Tak Jumpa Dirinya
Mungkin Semua Takkan
Seperti Ini
Dirimu Dan Dirinya Kini
Ada Di Hatiku
Membawa Aku Dalam
Kehancuran
Maafkan Aku Menduakan Cintamu
Berat Rasa Hatiku
Tinggalkan Dirinya
Dan Demi Waktu
Yang Bergilir Di Sampingmu
Maafkanlah Diriku
Sepenuh Hatimu
Seandainya Bila
Ku Bisa Memilih
Ungu
05/06
Lupakan Dirinya
Yang Kini Hadir
Di Antara Kita
Namun Ku Juga Takkan Bisa
Menepis Bayangmu
Yang Selama Ini Temani
Hidupku
Maafkan Aku Menduakan Cintamu
Berat Rasa Hatiku
Tinggalkan Dirinya
Dan Demi Waktu
Yang Bergilir Di Sampingmu
Maafkanlah Diriku
Sepenuh Hatimu
Seandainya Bila
Ku Bisa Memilih
Kalau Saja Waktu Itu
Ku Tak Jumpa Dirinya
Mungkin Semua Takkan
Seperti Ini
Dirimu Dan Dirinya Kini
Ada Di Hatiku
Membawa Aku Dalam
Kehancuran
Maafkan Aku Menduakan Cintamu
Berat Rasa Hatiku
Tinggalkan Dirinya
Dan Demi Waktu
Yang Bergilir Di Sampingmu
Maafkanlah Diriku
Sepenuh Hatimu
Seandainya Bila
Ku Bisa Memilih
Ungu
05/06
Exam Mode
Just woke up. Feeling so restless and hopeless. Knowing that I have to study for my papers tomorrow is just so..tiring. What's going on with my brain? Tomorrow's gonna be quite a big day with 2 big papers. PCPM (Planning, Control, and Perfomance Management - a costing paper) and also Preaparing Taxation Computation. Those are killer papers. Infact, everything is. I don't know which one I'm gonna start first, but I like taxation better than costing. Maybe because it's more interesting, and less annoying. Yeah, costing annoys me, but ironically, I got the highest for costing paper last semester's external exam. Weird huh? Pure luck I guess, I didn't expect it, but I know I will get good marks, because I felt good after answering the questions, but I certainly didn't expect to get the highest. Anyway, back to present day. I have to plan today's schedule. I didn't tell my parents than I'm gonna sit for my final exams tomorrow, just because I don't want them to somehow, put restrictions on my freedom. When I think about it again , I have to tell my mom, at least, because I can't be staying at home for the entire day today. I told her I have class. Hehe. But I'm feeling lazy to go out just to make it seems like I'm going out for classes. So, maybe I'm gonna tell her that I don't have class today, because all the lecturers are busy with UiTM's exam papers and they asked all the CAT students to study on their own for the upcoming exams. Can I do that? I'm not lying. I'm just not going to tell the whole truth. *wink* So, first thing I'm gonna do after this is to hit the shower. Get something to fill up my fuel tank after that. Then, study. Taxation first. Then costing. Hrmm..okay. Better get going now. Time flies!! Time is money, not gold anymore. Money, money, money!
p/s: 15 + x = 36, so x = ? more days to go.... :D
Sampai Mati
I really like this song. It's by Kris Dayanti. Famous Indonesian singer. I love her voice, she is just cool. Why do I like this song anyway? because of the lyrics of course. It's a beautiful song. I love the melody. It is just so...menyentuh. You prolly thing I'm jiwang. I don't think I am *in denial*. It's just that, I'm a sucker for this kind of song. Love ballads. Hehe. Anyway, I want to share this particular song. Read through the lyrics. It's sad. Wish I could get the video on youtube and paste it here, but I can't find it. Sad...huhu.Enjoy.
Sampai Mati
Biarkanlah Aku Mencintaimu
Walaupun Dirimu Bukan Lagi Milikku
Biarkanlah Aku Menyayangimu
Sampai Mati
Biarkanlah Aku Kini Sendiri
Dulu Memang Aku Yang Tinggalkan Dirimu
Biarkanlah Aku Menangis Lagi
Sampai Mati
Andai Diriku
Bisa Menahan Egoku
Mungkin Tak Akan Berakhir Begini
Kini Tak Bisa Ku Meraihmu
'tuk Menemaniku
'tuk Mencintaiku
Biarkan Semua Aku Jalani
Karena Semua Kesalahan Diriku
Biarkanlah Aku Kini Sendiri
Sampai Mati
Biarkan Aku Mencintai Dirimu
Meski Kau Bukan Milikku
Biarkanlah Aku Mencintaimu
Sampai Mati..
Kris Dayanti
2006
Zero Four Eleven..Hrmm
So many things to do , but so little time I have. I don't know whether I should put it that way, seriously . I have an exam to be taken next week. It's gonna be a big exam, because it's my internals, the questions are being prepared my my college (the lecturers), and it's my final exam for this semester. I supposed to be a very important exam, but it's not as important as my externals which will be held in December. I have been spending a lot of my time, not studying or concentrating on my studies. Honestly, I have so many chapters to be covered in a small period of time. I haven't done any revisions at all, especially for my audit paper. I don't know what is actually happening to me. I just don't have any semangat. I would rather spending my time lepaking, than staying at home, studying and do revisions. God, now only I realised that I have been actually wasting my time, and ironically, I am not that kind of person, to be honest, and I hate it. I hate wasting my time doing nothing. When I go out, I'll make sure that I will do something that is, beneficial. Well, not all the time, because sometimes, I do like just boraking with my friends, sitting in a cafe, window shopping and etc. I will get bored of that eventually, because when it's becoming too long and meleret , I will start cursing myself for wasting the time that I have. I do enjoy spending time and long conversations with friends yang I jarang-jarang jumpa. I am a kind of person who loves to have a good , meaningful conversation. Whether it's about life, relationships, problems, or fun things, I don't mind, as long as it is good, and I'll gain some new knowledge and experience. I don't like to crap. That is just not me. But it depends on my mood. When my gila-gila button has been turned on, I can crap and make jokes, but I will know when to stop. What I am trying to here is that, I don't like to just sit and do nothing but somehow, that is what I have been doing lately. I should stop that. I know I have to. Sigh. I really need to study. God, help me!!!
Anyway, today was a good and a bad day for me. I'm not gonna talk about the good thing, but I can say, I had a good night, I was feeling very comfortable and I enjoyed it very much. The bad thing happened was, earlier on today. Sigh. I don't think I really want to write it here, because I believe in, "let bygones be bygones". Haha. Can I? For sure I can. It's my blog and I can do anything I want. *Wink*
p/s: 23 days to go...:)
It's Amazing How Time Flies...
"It's amazing how fast time flies". Got that from a friend's blog. Yeah, it's pretty amazing. I can't believe how far I have gone. It's gonna be a year soon and my birthday is coming, 25 more days to be exact. I'm gonna be 19. I'm getting older, older than before. I'm not scared of it, because, that is life. You'll be getting older, and mature , to learn about life, the challenges, the people and to face the future. My course is ending soon, in a month time. I'll be free, for 3 months, at least. I have yet to construct an actual plan for my break but most probably, I'll be looking for a job. To support myself, to learn how to stand on my own, to experience the real world, to face new challenges, to learn new things, and to ern my own money, of course. To be honest, I don't know whether I can actually do all that. I have never in my life, done, a real job. Working office hours, or shifts or anything got to do with that, but if I don't make a move, and try, how am I supposed to gain knowledge and the most important thing, to acquire experience? I have to do that. I know I can. I have to trust myself, to have faith because nobody else will. I want to explore the world. The reality. I wanna go out there, and mark my territory!..Okay, that sounds over the top. Anyway, where was I?..Oo. The working thingie. Yeah. I'm gonna get a job. Then, I'm gonna earn some money, spend it, keep it, save it, and I wish I could further my study. I do want to. If I can, I want to fulfill my dreams. To study abroad. To feel what is like to live alone, far from home, far from heaven. I heard from friends, saying, at first you will be so excited knowing that you'll be studying overseas, you will still be for the first few months, and it will slowly be turned into hell later on. Heck. I know I will be suffering. Missing home, friends, etc. But that what makes man, a man. You live , you learn , you suffer, you fall down, you rise again, all by yourself. That's what I believe in, so far. What will I be? I always wonder. Am I gonna be an extraordinary successful person? or just an ordinary people living in an ordinary world? Am I gonna be remembered for what I have done, contributed or just gonna be forgotten like anyone else? I'm not sure which I want to be. But, I know what kind of life I want to have and to lead. I want a simple life. Simple, but diff and extraordinary. Should I say it that way? I want to be happy, that's for sure. I wanna die peacefully, that's my wish. I hope god has good plans for me. I really do. I don't know where will I be next year. What's gonna happen to me. Who's gonna be my new friends. Who's gonna leave my existing circle of friends. I'll be waiting, I'll be wondering. And I will be putting some more effort,will try my very best to make sure , next year, will be a better year for me. Can I say goodbye to 2006 earlier than everyone else? Hrmm....I guess not, because the best day, and also can be the worst day of the year haven't left its mark in my heart, this year. I guess I should wait for the day to come. I wanna see whether it will bring happiness, or it's gonna be as normal as any other days. I hope not. Insya' Allah. Ameen.
Andai
Andaikan diizinkan
Kuundur waktu
Akanku susun langkah
Akan kucorak warna
Tiada kelam
Namun apa daya
Andai ada pilihan
Ku ulang detik
Akan ku imbas saat kenangan silam
Kan ku hurai
Perasaan cinta
Kasih kembalikan
Sinar diri hidupku
Kesempatan kedua untukku pendam semula
Kebahagiaan
Sebuah harapan yang terlerai
Kasih rasailah
Kekesalanku
Kan beralih arah mengejar cinta sucimu
Andai takdir
Mengizinkan mengundurkan waktu
Andai ada pilihan
Ku ulang detik
Akan ku imbas saat kenangan silam
Kan kuhurai perasaan cinta
Kasih kembalikan
Sinar dihidupku
Kesempatan kedua untuk ku pendam semula
Kebahagian
Sebuah harapan yang telerai
Oohhh kasih rasailah
Kekal kesalan
Kan ku beralih arah mengejar cinta sucimu
Andai takdir mengizinkan
Ku mengundurkan waktu
Kuundur waktu
Akanku susun langkah
Akan kucorak warna
Tiada kelam
Namun apa daya
Andai ada pilihan
Ku ulang detik
Akan ku imbas saat kenangan silam
Kan ku hurai
Perasaan cinta
Kasih kembalikan
Sinar diri hidupku
Kesempatan kedua untukku pendam semula
Kebahagiaan
Sebuah harapan yang terlerai
Kasih rasailah
Kekesalanku
Kan beralih arah mengejar cinta sucimu
Andai takdir
Mengizinkan mengundurkan waktu
Andai ada pilihan
Ku ulang detik
Akan ku imbas saat kenangan silam
Kan kuhurai perasaan cinta
Kasih kembalikan
Sinar dihidupku
Kesempatan kedua untuk ku pendam semula
Kebahagian
Sebuah harapan yang telerai
Oohhh kasih rasailah
Kekal kesalan
Kan ku beralih arah mengejar cinta sucimu
Andai takdir mengizinkan
Ku mengundurkan waktu
Amy Mastura & Anuar Zain
OST Bintang Hati
Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri
Would like to wish a very Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all muslims in the world. I hope this year's Raya will bring more meanings to my life . Hopefully, it will be a better year ahead. Thank you. Maaf Zahir dan Batin.
A Blessing In Disguise
People would always think, that life is being unfair when something bad happens to them. That life is not giving them the right thing that would satisfy their needs, without needing them to suffer, to cry or to fall down. But what if, suddenly they get the things that they have been wanting for so long, the things that that have been hoping for, the good things that they have been dying to own? Will they ever think that life is actually being fair to them? For once , maybe? A friend of mine just said to me, maybe, "it must've been a blessing in disguise today". I have been thinking about something that has been bothering me a lot for the past few days. I was afraid of its outcome if I decided to be tell the truth. I might hurt someone else's feelings or maybe my own too. But I kuatkan semangat, to make clear of things. I want to make things better. So it won't bother me anymore. I was so afraid of the reactions that I will be getting. I was so afraid I would lose someone yg I care for. When I wanted to start the conversation, I was stucked. I couldn't let the words out of my heart, my mind. Instead, I cried. Again. But it became better. I was given the chance to say all the things that I been wanting to tell. It was so different than what I have expected. Apparently, he has been thinking about the same things, and realised few things, which made me cry even more. Not because of disappointment, but rasa bersyukur. I didn't expect it to be that way. Only god knows how grateful, thankful I was. At that very moment, I realised that, at last I got to see , to know the other side of him, which I have never seen before, and it makes me feel better, and much more closer to him. We made everything clearer than before and it was like one huge burden telah hilang dari my heart. I thanked him so many times, of things we have agreed upon. At last.Thank you. You will always be in my heart. Thank you so very much. It has been, truly, a blessing in disguise...
Friday The 20th
Today was another normal day for me. Nothing special. Woke up this morning with a very bad feeling. The feeling that I have kept. The problem that I have been thinking about it over and over again. Could not decide what should I do. Haven't found the right choice. Or should I say, haven't thought of a way to solve this thing. I decided to listen to ipod on my way to college. My mood was a lil' bit off today. I listened to my fav song at the moment. A beautiful song called Harapan. The reason why I love the song is basically because of its lyrics and the melody. A moving one. It touches my heart badly. I don't know why, before this, I didn't cry when I listen to the song, but today it was slightly different. I listened to the song over and over again, and I couldn't help my tears from falling down. Sigh..After class, I terus balik. When I was on my way home, a friend of mine caled me, but I didn't get to answer his call because I was kina of busy at that time. So I replied his call, and we talked for quite some time. All of sudden, I told him about the thing that has been bothering me all this while. The thing that I did not talk about it with him before this. The thing that I have been keepiong to myself. The thing that I don't want to burden anyone with it. So i told him basicaly everything, and he said he was speechless and he tak tahu how to respond. It was okay with me, 'coz I wasn't expecting any reaction. He told me about the situation yg dia pernah lalui jugak and at that very moment, I broke down, once again. I don't know. I wasn't feeling really good these days. There are so many things on my mind right now. I just couldn't manage it very well. I really really hope I could get over this thing quickly. I don't want to be in this situation everyday. God...help me! I'm falling apart :(..
Sincerely
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Sincerely
Ad
Harapan
Doaku agar kaukan selalu bahagia,
Agar kau temui insan tulus menyayangimu,
Lepaskanlah diriku kerna keredhaanmu,
Bukan kerna dendam jua bukan kerna kau terpaksa,
Ku tinggalkan memori bersamamu,
Kuundur diri bersama harapan....
Tidak kesampaian cinta kita,
Kubawa harapan kupendam rahsia,
Ku dikejauhan mendoakan,
Agar kau bahgia tiada lagi duka.
Daku rela mengundur diri,
Ku pasti dikaukan fahami ...
Tiada penyesalan kasihku korbankan
Andai telah tertulis kuterima ini bukannya kupinta,
Oh pergilah dikau diiringi keikhlasanku,
Cuma pengalaman mengisi kekosongan mimpiku...
Ku tinggalkan memori bersamamu,
Kuundur diri bersama harapan....
Tidak kesampaian cinta kita,
Kubawa harapan kupendam rahsia,
Ku dikejauhan mendoakan,
Agar kau bahgia tiada lagi duka.
Daku rela mengundur diri,
Ku pasti dikaukan fahami ...
Singer : Fazli Zainal
Song and Lyrics : Hazami
2006
Agar kau temui insan tulus menyayangimu,
Lepaskanlah diriku kerna keredhaanmu,
Bukan kerna dendam jua bukan kerna kau terpaksa,
Ku tinggalkan memori bersamamu,
Kuundur diri bersama harapan....
Tidak kesampaian cinta kita,
Kubawa harapan kupendam rahsia,
Ku dikejauhan mendoakan,
Agar kau bahgia tiada lagi duka.
Daku rela mengundur diri,
Ku pasti dikaukan fahami ...
Tiada penyesalan kasihku korbankan
Andai telah tertulis kuterima ini bukannya kupinta,
Oh pergilah dikau diiringi keikhlasanku,
Cuma pengalaman mengisi kekosongan mimpiku...
Ku tinggalkan memori bersamamu,
Kuundur diri bersama harapan....
Tidak kesampaian cinta kita,
Kubawa harapan kupendam rahsia,
Ku dikejauhan mendoakan,
Agar kau bahgia tiada lagi duka.
Daku rela mengundur diri,
Ku pasti dikaukan fahami ...
Singer : Fazli Zainal
Song and Lyrics : Hazami
2006
How I Wish I could...
How I wish I could turn back the time and never do the same mistakes that I did before? How I wish it was easy for me to lead my life? I guess that would never going to happen. If it is easy for for someone to lead his or her life without doing any mistakes, facing any challenges, and making any decisions without having any doubts about it, that won't be called as life. That is fantasy. How I wish I could give my heart to the one who loves me more than anything in the world? How I wish I could tell myself , that this person who loves me very much is the one I am supposed to be with ? But I am no saint. I am not an angel. I am not perfect. I can't force my heart to do things that I can't do. I can't force myself to have feelings for anyone. I did my best but I guess my best wasn't good enough. Am I really doing the right thing? I just want to make someone else happy. If I am the one who could bring joy to that person's life, why shouldn't I do it? But, at the same time, I am having a hard time finding my own happiness. I have not found the one who could bring true joy to my life. I admit, I am happy with what I have right now. I am blessed with friends , those I truly love and care for. Some of them are just really close to me. They gave meaning to my life. They helped me go through lots of things. I thank god for that. But, I am just an ordinary person. A human being to be exact. I need my own space. I need to find the true meaning of my life. I have my own heart to take care of. I can't be for someone else all the time. Sometimes, I just want to give up on everything and start anew, but that would make me a heartless, mean, cold, nasty guy. I am not that. I don't want to be labelled as any of that. Sigh. I have been wanting to have a different life, but that would a make an ungrateful person. I guess I just have to continue with what I am doing right now. With what I have. Maybe I will try to make things better. For my own sake. I hope that I will presevere and still be strong enough to continue with all these. I'll pray to god. Ameen.
Sincerely
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Saved As Draft..Publishing.
I had a conversation with a friend of mine yang dah banyak ceritakan his problems to me. I listened to all his problems and sometimes I tried to give him some solutions, but most of the time I can only listen to it and help him as much as I can. It's not that I don't want to try to solve his problems, but as a friend, I can only give him some advises and comfort him, I don't have any rights to force him to do anything. However, tonight was kinda different. Well, not about his problems, but what he said to me, made me think for a while.
"You're a nice person and someday you'll find your happiness"
Am I really a nice person? Will I ever find my happiness? Honestly, I don't think I'm a nice person. I have done things I shouldn't do. I have been mean to someone else. Really mean. But I dont have any options. Maybe I do, but I just didn't give any care to the options I had. Maybe it is actually because of the reason that, I'm not a nice person after all. Right?
I really need to dig myself. I have to know myself better...hrm.
Jim Thompson:My Thai
Yesterday..erm..what was the date? Oh yeah, 8th October . Me and friends buka puasa-ing at this one gorgeous restaurant in Starhill Gallery. The food was absolutely fantastic. I love the ambiance, the services...well..basically I love everything about it. We ordered few dishes (didn't get to take the pics 'coz the lighting was not really suitable for my 1.23 mp phone. Yeah, I guess I should get a digicam one day. That will be the day where I will be taking lotsa pics and share it with you guys here. Me do love taking pics, but what to do, I got no digicam (damn it!). Back to my story about foooooddd!! I personally ordered the mango salad. I really love the taste. Along with that I ordered a tom yam soup (but in the menu they don't simply just put it as "tom yam soup" but they put it in a very weird thai name...if I'm not mistaken it was "Tom Yum Gai" - means spicy and sour clear soup with chicken breast and herbs) There! I actually ingat the name. Then, we ordered other dishes : Black Pepper Seabass, Omlette with Crabmeat, and one huge lobster-look-alike prawn. It was nice.The sauce was so tasty. The waiter said the prawn is called Tamarind Prawn-a river prawn. Whatever-lah kan. I don't care, as long as it tasted good and I kenyang eating those dishes. As for the dessert, I ordered a fresh fruit platter and my drink was normal orange juice. Wanna know something? They gave us this complimentary drink- sirap bandung with lotus seed (kot...). I thought It was just a normal tak sedap drink but it turned out to be that particular drink is better than the orange juice that I oredered earlier. Had to asked the waitress to tambah balik in other words to refill my glass because it was so sedap. Hahaha!Anyway, thats about it lah. Hope to go there again. Besides buka puasa-ing I did some raya shopping. Bought a pair of jeans , a shirt and few socks. Well, I have nothing else to buy actually but I think I still wanna get at least one more shirt. I dunno why I'm so into shirt lately. Visit this website to learn more about Jim Thompson(I guess the founder of the restaurant) and the restaurant itself "My Thai".(Click at the image)
The Isolation of Me
I started the day by attending my auditing class. It was fun. All of us were supposed to answer a question given by Ms. Hana ( my audit lect) - coolest lect!. Turned out to be just another session of borak-ing with each other, sharing stories. We found out that ms. has a boyfriend working as a teacher. Wow! I felt weird at first coz she actually confessed dia ada bf to her own students. Well, usually, lecturers does not share their personal life's thingie. That's why I called her the coolest lecturer because she layan us like her own friends and she understands us very much. We actually managed to finish up the question (well obviously I was the first one to write the answers on the board). I love auditing class because it is different than the other classes. I do not feel any pressure at all though it is actually, one of the most difficult subject in my course. I know I have to cope with time, to read it all over again (coz I dont actually remember the things that I have read before) , to revise, but the thought of having such a relaxing class, calms me down.
After audit, was my taxation class. Ms Mimi is kinda cool also. She can be serious at times, but most of the time, she jokes around, but today was a disaster. A good one though. Usually, I will be the loudest one in class, and that somehow will give her the chance to kacau me. Haha. So, my friends were asking me few questions, so I had to try to answer those questions. I talked, talked, talked,and asked my other friend to get the answer for that particular question. At that very moment, Ms Mimi called my name and asked me to move from my usual place, to the other side of the class- but, nobody's sitting there. It's empty. I have been isolated!!. If you think that was bad, imagine when she said no one is allowed to talk to me, or to layan me, if they do so, she will give a zero for their exam. Wargh! Sounds mean eh? It was though, but I kinda enjoyed it. She said I'm an attention seeker. Well, I'm not saying that I am one, but looking at the environment of the class, the situation, the feeling, I have to be active because the others are just so damn pasive. It's boring to have a kind of class like that. So I decided to spice up the class a lil bit. Make it a lil more happening. Okay, back to me being isolated. Nobody talked to me except her. I was okay with that, knowing it wasn't actually a serious thing. So I sat alone in the corner, and did some sketching. Sketching? Yeah. Love to sketch. What? Secret! Haha. I have been inspired by a tv reality show from the states. It's a great program. After 10-20 mins, Ms Mimi decided to let us go earlier than 12.30, but we must answer her questions (as usual, pop quiz-lah) first. I was the few last ones to answer because I didn't get to answer it correctly during the first attempt. I went home for my friday prayers (really??). Well, I think I stop here, the rest of the day was pretty boring (attended one stupid talk where I wasted my whole 2 freaking hours listening to one boring counselor-but there were some games I participated and that was the only fun I had).
Sincerely
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29-09-2006
After audit, was my taxation class. Ms Mimi is kinda cool also. She can be serious at times, but most of the time, she jokes around, but today was a disaster. A good one though. Usually, I will be the loudest one in class, and that somehow will give her the chance to kacau me. Haha. So, my friends were asking me few questions, so I had to try to answer those questions. I talked, talked, talked,and asked my other friend to get the answer for that particular question. At that very moment, Ms Mimi called my name and asked me to move from my usual place, to the other side of the class- but, nobody's sitting there. It's empty. I have been isolated!!. If you think that was bad, imagine when she said no one is allowed to talk to me, or to layan me, if they do so, she will give a zero for their exam. Wargh! Sounds mean eh? It was though, but I kinda enjoyed it. She said I'm an attention seeker. Well, I'm not saying that I am one, but looking at the environment of the class, the situation, the feeling, I have to be active because the others are just so damn pasive. It's boring to have a kind of class like that. So I decided to spice up the class a lil bit. Make it a lil more happening. Okay, back to me being isolated. Nobody talked to me except her. I was okay with that, knowing it wasn't actually a serious thing. So I sat alone in the corner, and did some sketching. Sketching? Yeah. Love to sketch. What? Secret! Haha. I have been inspired by a tv reality show from the states. It's a great program. After 10-20 mins, Ms Mimi decided to let us go earlier than 12.30, but we must answer her questions (as usual, pop quiz-lah) first. I was the few last ones to answer because I didn't get to answer it correctly during the first attempt. I went home for my friday prayers (really??). Well, I think I stop here, the rest of the day was pretty boring (attended one stupid talk where I wasted my whole 2 freaking hours listening to one boring counselor-but there were some games I participated and that was the only fun I had).
Sincerely
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29-09-2006
(Another Song) All Over Again
You've been alone
You've been afraid
I've been a fool
In so many ways
But I would change my life
If you thought you might try love me
So please give me another chance
To write you another song
Take back those things I've done
Cause I'll give you my heart
If you would let me start all over again
I'm not a saint
I'm just a man
Who let heaven and earth in the palm of his hand
But I threw it away
So now I stand here today asking forgiveness
And if you could just
Please give me another chance
To write you another song
Take back those things I've done
Cause I'll give you my heart
If you would let me start all over again
Little girl, you're all I've got
Don?t you leave me standing here once again
Cause I'll give you my life (yes I would)
If you would let me try to love you
So please give me another chance
To write you another song
And take back those things I've done
Cause I'll give you my heart
If you would let me start all over again
Again oh
No no
oh oh
You know I love you (yeah)
Give me one more chance
No No
No No No No
Justin Timberlake
Futuresex/Lovesounds
2006
You've been afraid
I've been a fool
In so many ways
But I would change my life
If you thought you might try love me
So please give me another chance
To write you another song
Take back those things I've done
Cause I'll give you my heart
If you would let me start all over again
I'm not a saint
I'm just a man
Who let heaven and earth in the palm of his hand
But I threw it away
So now I stand here today asking forgiveness
And if you could just
Please give me another chance
To write you another song
Take back those things I've done
Cause I'll give you my heart
If you would let me start all over again
Little girl, you're all I've got
Don?t you leave me standing here once again
Cause I'll give you my life (yes I would)
If you would let me try to love you
So please give me another chance
To write you another song
And take back those things I've done
Cause I'll give you my heart
If you would let me start all over again
Again oh
No no
oh oh
You know I love you (yeah)
Give me one more chance
No No
No No No No
Justin Timberlake
Futuresex/Lovesounds
2006
My Heart
A song that really touches my heart. With a beautiful melody and meaningful lyrics. Without any powerful vocal acrobatics, still, this song is really beautiful. I guess I have said that twice. I haven't got the chance to watch the movie but I guess I can actually imagine what it's all about. Love. True love.
Disini kau dan aku
terbiasa bersama
menjalani kasih sayang
bahagia kudenganmu
pernahkah kau menguntai
hari paling indah
ku ukir nama kita berdua
disini surga kita
bila kita mencintai yg lain
mungkin kah hati ini akan tegar
sebisa mungkin tak akan pernah
sayang ku akan hilang
if u love somebody
could we be this strong
i will fight to win
our love will conquer all
wouldn’t risk my love
even just one night
our love will stay in my heart
my heart
pernahkah kau menguntai
hari paling indah
ku ukir nama kita berdua
disini surga kita
bila kita mencintai yg lain
mungkin kah hati ini akan tegar
sebisa mungkin tak akan pernah
sayang ku akan hilang
bila kita mencintai yg lain
mungkin kah hati ini akan tegar
sebisa mungkin tak akan pernah
sayang ku akan hilang
if u love somebody
could we be this strong
i will fight to win
our love will conquer all
wouldn’t risk my love
even just one night
our love will stay in my heart
my heart
Sincerely
Ad
Disini kau dan aku
terbiasa bersama
menjalani kasih sayang
bahagia kudenganmu
pernahkah kau menguntai
hari paling indah
ku ukir nama kita berdua
disini surga kita
bila kita mencintai yg lain
mungkin kah hati ini akan tegar
sebisa mungkin tak akan pernah
sayang ku akan hilang
if u love somebody
could we be this strong
i will fight to win
our love will conquer all
wouldn’t risk my love
even just one night
our love will stay in my heart
my heart
pernahkah kau menguntai
hari paling indah
ku ukir nama kita berdua
disini surga kita
bila kita mencintai yg lain
mungkin kah hati ini akan tegar
sebisa mungkin tak akan pernah
sayang ku akan hilang
bila kita mencintai yg lain
mungkin kah hati ini akan tegar
sebisa mungkin tak akan pernah
sayang ku akan hilang
if u love somebody
could we be this strong
i will fight to win
our love will conquer all
wouldn’t risk my love
even just one night
our love will stay in my heart
my heart
Sincerely
Ad
Apa Ertinya Cinta?
Apa ertinya kasih
Jika kau tidak peduli
Apa ertinya sayang
Jika aku rasa sendiri
Apa ertinya rindu
Jika hatimu tidak padaku
Apa ertinya cinta
Jika ia tak pernah ada
Apa ertinya kasih
Jika kau terus menyisih
Apa ertinya sayang
Jika aku tidak kau pandang
Apa ertinya rindu
Jika aku yang terus menunggu
Dan apa ertinya cinta
Jika kau tidak merasa
Apa ertinya kasih
Jika kau tidak mengerti
Apa ertinya sayang
Jika aku yang terus melayang
Apa ertinya rindu
Jika kau diam membisu
Dan apa ertinya cinta lagi padaku
Jika ia telah mati
Dalam jiwaku....
Jika kau tidak peduli
Apa ertinya sayang
Jika aku rasa sendiri
Apa ertinya rindu
Jika hatimu tidak padaku
Apa ertinya cinta
Jika ia tak pernah ada
Apa ertinya kasih
Jika kau terus menyisih
Apa ertinya sayang
Jika aku tidak kau pandang
Apa ertinya rindu
Jika aku yang terus menunggu
Dan apa ertinya cinta
Jika kau tidak merasa
Apa ertinya kasih
Jika kau tidak mengerti
Apa ertinya sayang
Jika aku yang terus melayang
Apa ertinya rindu
Jika kau diam membisu
Dan apa ertinya cinta lagi padaku
Jika ia telah mati
Dalam jiwaku....
Apa Artinya Cinta?
Tiba-tiba engkau ada
Kemudian engkau hadir
Laksana kerdil ku memeluk
Lihat aku lebih dalam
Di matamu ku melihat
Ada cinta yg tersirat
Tirani hati merebak
Barangkali aku salah
Ku terdiam bukan bisu
Kutahu engkau besar malu
Tutupi rasa gelisah
Biar saja waktu nanti
Yang menikmati kisah ini
Bersamamu aku senang
Belum juga kah kau menyadarinya
Akulah yg pantas untuk kau cintai
Di bawah langit biru aku bersumpah
Diriku tanpamu apa artinya cinta
Arti cinta ini sudah menelan waktuku
Siang malam hanya untuk pikirkan engkau
Sejuta kali aku berani bersumpah
Diriku tanpamu apa artinya cinta
Kemudian engkau hadir
Laksana kerdil ku memeluk
Lihat aku lebih dalam
Di matamu ku melihat
Ada cinta yg tersirat
Tirani hati merebak
Barangkali aku salah
Ku terdiam bukan bisu
Kutahu engkau besar malu
Tutupi rasa gelisah
Biar saja waktu nanti
Yang menikmati kisah ini
Bersamamu aku senang
Belum juga kah kau menyadarinya
Akulah yg pantas untuk kau cintai
Di bawah langit biru aku bersumpah
Diriku tanpamu apa artinya cinta
Arti cinta ini sudah menelan waktuku
Siang malam hanya untuk pikirkan engkau
Sejuta kali aku berani bersumpah
Diriku tanpamu apa artinya cinta
Emptiness
Well, nothing much to say about my life now. Today was like not a good day. I had this bengkak thing below my left eye. It was horrible. Erm..not that big- lah but it was so gatal and I had to like put some compact powder to cover it up. I dont know why suddenly this bengkak thing datang. So stupid. Then I kena this terrible headache where you can actually feel your head is like so berat. Sigh, I have no idea what is wrong with me now. Yesterday I decided to like taake a break form my myspace account. I just have to do it. I wanted to close it down but after pikir-pikir balik, it's such a stupid thing for me to do after all the hard work. So, I deleted half of my page content , changed my display pic [I made it using photoshop], deleted my background pic and few other stuffs. I'm so tired of myspace. It has been the source of my sadness all this while. I swear to god! But I cant blame on it entirely-lah kan. My fault too. Anyway, I'm not really in the mood to talk about myspace. I really need some space on my own to think about what I have done, and I have become....
Jaclyn Victor Live @ Planet Hollywood II
i went yesterday...first time tgk jac nyanyi live depan mata..b4 i perg..susah payah nak cari org to temakan me...rasa cam apa tah..pastu one of my frens kata dont expect too much from jaclyn...he said..i will get irriatated somehow by her performances and style..and said that dont worry about the tickets, takkan habis coz tak ramai sgt yg datang...but me still risau gak...he said that because his fren yg pergi for the first show on 6th march told him so, i didnt say a thing to him coz i know all i wanted was to see jac perform...so he ask me to evaluate her.....
because me risau pasal ticket akan habis, me pergi bb around 7...sampai kat PH around 7.15, n terus belibyr..takya beratur pun...huhu...then sambil tunggu my fren dtg..lepak2 around bb..makan kat lot 10, baca mag bla bla bla..then around 9.45 me da masuk Ph...boleh tahan gak crowd..my fren sampai around 10.15...so cari tempat nak berdiri, yes berdiri..hehehe..celebs yg dtg last nite, misha, sarah,daniel lee,farahdhiya,farah MI, saiful MI(macam perempuan sgt..ew), adam quickie, serena c, zainal alam, and aznil...tu je yg nampak..hehe...
the show started lambat sket, 10.45 camtu...jaclyn victor was beautiful, as usual of course, started off singing superstar by luther vandross, it was amazing..i love the song..basicly last nite, almost semua lagu yg dia nyanyi me tau nyanyi so ikut la nyanyi sekali ..ahaks...then she nyanyi di bawah pohon asmara...best..
tapi yg paling best, ada satu lagu yg me paling suka dlm her gemilang's album , TIADA LAGI INDAH...wow..wow..wow..thats all i can say..sedap gile...bertuah pergi rasanya sebab dpt dgr dia nyanyi lagu tu LIVE...hoho....then terus la..
other songs yg dia nynayi...tak ikut turutan,
chain of fools, crying( i think),kaulah segalanya,mencintaimu, tegar, if i aint got u, because of u, since u been gone (duet with farah MI), cinta (duet with Msha, sarah pun enterframe), superwoman, dia,we belong together, one thing, all by myself,tunggu sekejap, ordinary ppl, and few other songs yg me tak ingat sebab sgt terpukau ngan her permance..but she endede her show of course , ngan gemilang..:)
well...i enjoyed her performance..sgt sgt...after watching her live...i felt really proud bcoz we have such talent like her in our industry...powerful vocals..really..it was soooo amazing.i have no idea how can she sing like that..and ada few moments i couldnt breathe sebab tergamam tgk dia tarik tinggi2 ..hahaha..band da la power..kena plak ngan suara jac...takde apa nak ckp lg...for me, though her communication skills agak terhad...but still ok compared to few other singers, me da cukup terhibur da dgr suara dia..my advice, sesapa yg tak bape nak suka kat jac tu..tgkla dia perform live...tak pasti sama ada pendirian anda akan berubah, tapi pendirian saya telah berubah, saya bukan minat lagi da kat dia, tapi TERAMAT X 100 minat kat dia..wakakakakaka...tu je my comment..tak larat nak ckp lagi..ngantok actually..hahaha..tata
because me risau pasal ticket akan habis, me pergi bb around 7...sampai kat PH around 7.15, n terus belibyr..takya beratur pun...huhu...then sambil tunggu my fren dtg..lepak2 around bb..makan kat lot 10, baca mag bla bla bla..then around 9.45 me da masuk Ph...boleh tahan gak crowd..my fren sampai around 10.15...so cari tempat nak berdiri, yes berdiri..hehehe..celebs yg dtg last nite, misha, sarah,daniel lee,farahdhiya,farah MI, saiful MI(macam perempuan sgt..ew), adam quickie, serena c, zainal alam, and aznil...tu je yg nampak..hehe...
the show started lambat sket, 10.45 camtu...jaclyn victor was beautiful, as usual of course, started off singing superstar by luther vandross, it was amazing..i love the song..basicly last nite, almost semua lagu yg dia nyanyi me tau nyanyi so ikut la nyanyi sekali ..ahaks...then she nyanyi di bawah pohon asmara...best..
tapi yg paling best, ada satu lagu yg me paling suka dlm her gemilang's album , TIADA LAGI INDAH...wow..wow..wow..thats all i can say..sedap gile...bertuah pergi rasanya sebab dpt dgr dia nyanyi lagu tu LIVE...hoho....then terus la..
other songs yg dia nynayi...tak ikut turutan,
chain of fools, crying( i think),kaulah segalanya,mencintaimu, tegar, if i aint got u, because of u, since u been gone (duet with farah MI), cinta (duet with Msha, sarah pun enterframe), superwoman, dia,we belong together, one thing, all by myself,tunggu sekejap, ordinary ppl, and few other songs yg me tak ingat sebab sgt terpukau ngan her permance..but she endede her show of course , ngan gemilang..:)
well...i enjoyed her performance..sgt sgt...after watching her live...i felt really proud bcoz we have such talent like her in our industry...powerful vocals..really..it was soooo amazing.i have no idea how can she sing like that..and ada few moments i couldnt breathe sebab tergamam tgk dia tarik tinggi2 ..hahaha..band da la power..kena plak ngan suara jac...takde apa nak ckp lg...for me, though her communication skills agak terhad...but still ok compared to few other singers, me da cukup terhibur da dgr suara dia..my advice, sesapa yg tak bape nak suka kat jac tu..tgkla dia perform live...tak pasti sama ada pendirian anda akan berubah, tapi pendirian saya telah berubah, saya bukan minat lagi da kat dia, tapi TERAMAT X 100 minat kat dia..wakakakakaka...tu je my comment..tak larat nak ckp lagi..ngantok actually..hahaha..tata
Jaclyn Victor Live @ Planet Hollywood
Okay..tomorrow last sekali dia perform kat situ. Me wanna go!!!! Nak sgt...but the problem now is kan...TAKDE ORANG NAK TEMAN ME!!!!..ARGHHH!!!! :(:(
so sad...sighh
so sad...sighh
Saya.Sayang.Awak
Awak,
kalau saya cakap,
sayasuka awak,
boleh tak?
kalau saya cakap
sayakisahpasalawak,
boleh tak?
kalau saya cakap
saya rindu awak
boleh tak?
saya takut awak marah
saya takut awak tak suka
tapi kan awak,
saya tak tau kenapa saya boleh ada perasaan tu semua
saya suka tengok awak
saya kalau boleh nak cakap ngan awak
hari-hari..
Awak,
saya tau kita kawan
tapi saya dah suka kat awak
nak buat camne kan?
kalau boleh saya tak nak awak,
tapi saya ta boleh buat ape ape
Awak,
awaktau tak
setiap hari saya mesti harap
awak call saya
saya nak call awak
sebab saya rindu kat awak
tapi saya takut saya akan ganggu awak
lagipun,
lagipun...erm
erm..
saya tak cukup credit lah awak..(hehe)
Awak,
saya tau awak happy skang,
awak dah ada orang yang awak sayang,
saya happy la bile tengok awak happy
walau saya tau perasaan saya camne
saya kena tolak tepi
takpe...saya memang akan sedih
tapi nak buat camne, kan?
Awak,
saya harap kita akan kawan sampai bila bila
saya harap kita takkan ada masalah
saya kenal awak pun tiba-tiba
saya tak sangka pun akan ada perasaan camni kat awak
saya happy bila dapat cakap ngan awak
tak tau nape..i just do..
so, saya harap antara kita tak akan ada perubahan
walaupun awak dah ada yang punya..
Awak,
saya nak awak tau,
saya bukan sahaja suka, kisah, dan rindu pada awak
tapi saya dah sayang awak
saya tau saya tak akan jumpa orang yang serupa macam awak
sebab awak satu-satunya kat dunia ni (duh)
tapi saya harap saya kana jumpa org yang baik cam awak
tapi saya tak tau la
awak sayang saya ke tak...
hrmmm...
Awak,
jaga diri baik-baik eh,
saya sayang awak..
kalau saya cakap,
sayasuka awak,
boleh tak?
kalau saya cakap
sayakisahpasalawak,
boleh tak?
kalau saya cakap
saya rindu awak
boleh tak?
saya takut awak marah
saya takut awak tak suka
tapi kan awak,
saya tak tau kenapa saya boleh ada perasaan tu semua
saya suka tengok awak
saya kalau boleh nak cakap ngan awak
hari-hari..
Awak,
saya tau kita kawan
tapi saya dah suka kat awak
nak buat camne kan?
kalau boleh saya tak nak awak,
tapi saya ta boleh buat ape ape
Awak,
awaktau tak
setiap hari saya mesti harap
awak call saya
saya nak call awak
sebab saya rindu kat awak
tapi saya takut saya akan ganggu awak
lagipun,
lagipun...erm
erm..
saya tak cukup credit lah awak..(hehe)
Awak,
saya tau awak happy skang,
awak dah ada orang yang awak sayang,
saya happy la bile tengok awak happy
walau saya tau perasaan saya camne
saya kena tolak tepi
takpe...saya memang akan sedih
tapi nak buat camne, kan?
Awak,
saya harap kita akan kawan sampai bila bila
saya harap kita takkan ada masalah
saya kenal awak pun tiba-tiba
saya tak sangka pun akan ada perasaan camni kat awak
saya happy bila dapat cakap ngan awak
tak tau nape..i just do..
so, saya harap antara kita tak akan ada perubahan
walaupun awak dah ada yang punya..
Awak,
saya nak awak tau,
saya bukan sahaja suka, kisah, dan rindu pada awak
tapi saya dah sayang awak
saya tau saya tak akan jumpa orang yang serupa macam awak
sebab awak satu-satunya kat dunia ni (duh)
tapi saya harap saya kana jumpa org yang baik cam awak
tapi saya tak tau la
awak sayang saya ke tak...
hrmmm...
Awak,
jaga diri baik-baik eh,
saya sayang awak..
Coretan Cinta
Andai ..
Harusku melangkah pergi..
Dengan..
Hati memendam rasa sangsi..
Bukan..
Kemahuan jiwaku..
Kerna..
Hancur hati ini..
Sayang..
Tika kau menyepi..
Tinggal diriku sendiri..
Gelas-gelas kaca ..
Jatuh berderaian..
Menemani diriku
Tiada akhirnya..
Tiada tempat ku mengadu rasa
Bagimu telah lama ku redha
Masih tersimpan harapanku
Membina mahligai syahdu
Segala keraguan ku lelahkan
Janji dusta jadi coretan cinta
Kini kuteruskan langkahku
Membina kehidupan baru
Sayang..
Tika kau menyepi..
Akhirnya..
Harusku melangkah pergi..
Dengan..
Hati memendam rasa sangsi..
Bukan..
Kemahuan jiwaku..
Kerna..
Hancur hati ini..
Sayang..
Tika kau menyepi..
Tinggal diriku sendiri..
Gelas-gelas kaca ..
Jatuh berderaian..
Menemani diriku
Tiada akhirnya..
Tiada tempat ku mengadu rasa
Bagimu telah lama ku redha
Masih tersimpan harapanku
Membina mahligai syahdu
Segala keraguan ku lelahkan
Janji dusta jadi coretan cinta
Kini kuteruskan langkahku
Membina kehidupan baru
Sayang..
Tika kau menyepi..
Akhirnya..
A Room In My Heart
My heart was once just like a home
With many rooms and open doors
And I always let love in
It would change the rooms around and then
Leave them empty
'Til one by one I locked each door
And soon forgot what love was for
But I never gave up hopin'
So I left just one door open
In case you found me
So there's a room in my heart for you
If your trust has been stolen too
If you walk softly on this worn out wooden floor
And leave behind you the hurt you've had before
There's a room in my heart for you
We'll paint the walls from blue to white
And set the mood by candlelight
Together we'll keep out the cold
And I'll still be there when we're old
If you'll let me
So there's a room in my heart for you
If your trust has been stolen too
If you walk softly on this worn out wooden floor
And leave behind you the hurt you've had before
There's a room in my heart for you
With many rooms and open doors
And I always let love in
It would change the rooms around and then
Leave them empty
'Til one by one I locked each door
And soon forgot what love was for
But I never gave up hopin'
So I left just one door open
In case you found me
So there's a room in my heart for you
If your trust has been stolen too
If you walk softly on this worn out wooden floor
And leave behind you the hurt you've had before
There's a room in my heart for you
We'll paint the walls from blue to white
And set the mood by candlelight
Together we'll keep out the cold
And I'll still be there when we're old
If you'll let me
So there's a room in my heart for you
If your trust has been stolen too
If you walk softly on this worn out wooden floor
And leave behind you the hurt you've had before
There's a room in my heart for you
All In Love Is Fair
All is fair in love, love's a crazy game
Two people vow to stay, in love as one they say
But all is changed with time, the future none can see
The road you leave behind, ahead lies mystery
But all is fair in love, I had to go away
A writer takes his pen to write the words again
That all in love is fair
All of fates a chance, its either good or bad
I tossed my coin to say in love with me youd stay
But all in war is so cold, you either win or lose
When all is put away, the losing side Ill play
But all is fair in love, I should have never left your side
A writer takes his pen to write the words again
That all in love is fair
A writer takes his pen to write the words again
That all in love is fair
Two people vow to stay, in love as one they say
But all is changed with time, the future none can see
The road you leave behind, ahead lies mystery
But all is fair in love, I had to go away
A writer takes his pen to write the words again
That all in love is fair
All of fates a chance, its either good or bad
I tossed my coin to say in love with me youd stay
But all in war is so cold, you either win or lose
When all is put away, the losing side Ill play
But all is fair in love, I should have never left your side
A writer takes his pen to write the words again
That all in love is fair
A writer takes his pen to write the words again
That all in love is fair
Confessions Of A Lonely Heart (And It's Breaking)
These few days were like hell to me. I was so down and sometimes I just couldn't think straight. I can't believe I will be put in the same situation once again in less than 5 months. Something that I have never expected. I kept on telling myself before this, "expect the unexpected, because if you expect the expected, the unexpected will hurt you".But I'm doing the opposite thing. I don't know whether I'm hurting right now or what, but I do know that I'm having this kind of uncomfortable feelings which couldn't be described in just one word. All this while, I have been lying to myself and to others. I know I was having that kind feelings but I was too scared to let it all out because of certain unavoidable reasons. I felt guilty, that's why. I was supposed to stop this whole thing from the very beginning, but I was too lonely to do that. Part of me wanted to have it all by myself so others can never take it away from me, but part of me will never allow myself to do that because I care about others' feelings. I was trapped in my own world. I don't think I was fooled by anybody, though my close peeps said that I was. But, it is just not me to think bad about others, especially to those people whom trusted and I care greatly, and no, I'm not saying that I'm a good guy, hell I'm not.. If they did fool me, I will ask god to never let me know about it, because I know, it will break my heart into million of pieces. The minute when I read the thing, I was totally in shocked! I was stunned and my mind went blank. I didn't know what to think. At that very moment, I realised that all this while I did have that kind of feelings and it was too late for me to do anything. I was not 100% mad at that thing. I was mad at myelf for having that kind of thing inside. I kept on telling myself before this, make it ordinary, make it casual, make it simple...don't feel anything etc. But I was not doing the thing that I was supposed to be doing ...infact I put more thoughts on it. So after that, I decided to talk about it. But once again I wasn't being honest.. I lied about my feelings at that paticular moment because I didn't want to make anything worse. I left home very early because I needed to be alone and I was crying while listening to few songs.. Crying while driving. Can you imagine how dangerous it was? I cried not because of what I have been noticed and told, (partly yes) but I was crying because I'm afraid everything will change, and once again I will lose ppl that I have loved and cared for. I don't want to lose anybody. I wasn't okay. I lied. I had to.. I don't know what to do. Someone said I should not think about it that much. But should I?..or Can I? I just can't. I have been trying to focus on something else. I have been trying to make myself happy, but I failed. Next week I'm going to have a one week break. I hope I will recover, but I don't think I can....
I would like to say sorry for everything. If you're reading this blog, I want to apologize for what I have done and what you're going to know. Yes, you will know sooner or later. I'm terribly sorry. Really am....only god can explain my feelings right now. I'm going through hell.......
I would like to say sorry for everything. If you're reading this blog, I want to apologize for what I have done and what you're going to know. Yes, you will know sooner or later. I'm terribly sorry. Really am....only god can explain my feelings right now. I'm going through hell.......
....Dealova....
aku ingin menjadi mimpi indah dalam tidurmu
aku ingin menjadi sesuatu yg mungkin bisa kau rindu
karena langkah merapuh tanpa dirimu
oh karena hati tlah letih
aku ingin menjadi sesuatu yg selalu bisa kau sentuh
aku ingin kau tahu bahwa ku selalu memujamu
tanpamu sepinya waktu merantai hati
oh bayangmu seakan-akan
kau seperti nyanyian dalam hatiku
yg memanggil rinduku padamu
seperti udara yg kuhela kau selalu ada
hanya dirimu yg bisa membuatku tenang
tanpa dirimu aku merasa hilang
dan sepi, dan sepi
selalu ada, kau selalu ada
selalu ada, kau selalu ada
aku ingin menjadi sesuatu yg mungkin bisa kau rindu
karena langkah merapuh tanpa dirimu
oh karena hati tlah letih
aku ingin menjadi sesuatu yg selalu bisa kau sentuh
aku ingin kau tahu bahwa ku selalu memujamu
tanpamu sepinya waktu merantai hati
oh bayangmu seakan-akan
kau seperti nyanyian dalam hatiku
yg memanggil rinduku padamu
seperti udara yg kuhela kau selalu ada
hanya dirimu yg bisa membuatku tenang
tanpa dirimu aku merasa hilang
dan sepi, dan sepi
selalu ada, kau selalu ada
selalu ada, kau selalu ada
Misery
I must have kept it to myself,
the tears of sadness I cried.
I must have thought I had no worth
when looked at through your eyes.
It must have been misery that attracted me to you,
'cause everyday I lived in confusion of what
I had to prove.
Now I must except what was never going to be,
the love that should have grown
from the person that planted it's seed.
the tears of sadness I cried.
I must have thought I had no worth
when looked at through your eyes.
It must have been misery that attracted me to you,
'cause everyday I lived in confusion of what
I had to prove.
Now I must except what was never going to be,
the love that should have grown
from the person that planted it's seed.
Love Is Like A Butterfly
Love is like a butterfly
That flaps its wings as it goes by.
It beats a rythm
Quietly sings
So much beauty
In those wings.
It doesn't stay
To let you see
Just how beautiful it can be
It hovers lightly
Teasing..'touch me, try'
Then as you reach
It says goodbye.
Love is like a butterfly
You think you've caught it
Then it flies!
Love is like a butterfly
That flaps its wings as it goes by.
It beats a rythm
Quietly sings
So much beauty
In those wings.
It doesn't stay
To let you see
Just how beautiful it can be
It hovers lightly
Teasing..'touch me, try'
Then as you reach
It says goodbye.
Love is like a butterfly
You think you've caught it
Then it flies!
Letting Go
It's been a bad day
I'm getting used to it now another sad day
I'd cry but I dunno how
I'm drowning in thoughts
of how things used to be
my chest was shut tight complete with purity
It's out in the open should've kept to myself
I'll learn from mistakes
take my heart off the shelf
my soul has now fled it's my body alone
and it's far too much hurt
for my heart to come home
I give it up now
there's no way to win
without you here my world still spins
It's been a bad day
I'll try to let it not show
another sad day
and I'm just letting go....
I'm getting used to it now another sad day
I'd cry but I dunno how
I'm drowning in thoughts
of how things used to be
my chest was shut tight complete with purity
It's out in the open should've kept to myself
I'll learn from mistakes
take my heart off the shelf
my soul has now fled it's my body alone
and it's far too much hurt
for my heart to come home
I give it up now
there's no way to win
without you here my world still spins
It's been a bad day
I'll try to let it not show
another sad day
and I'm just letting go....
Fcuk!
This blog is like a diary to me..so I can write anything want here....
Im not in the mood to do anything right now..I have plenty of assignments need to be completed but with my condition right now, I dont think I could even touch the books. It's fucking annoying to me. What Im feeling right now is just so fucking irritating and I hate it. Why do I need to feel all this? Why am I being so kisah about other ppl's life? I have my own life to run. Oh maybe I know why...because the "other ppl" is my life. They just cant see it rite?..They just dont. Sometimes I feel like Im a piece of trash that can be found easily by the roadside. Well....Im absolutely sure that Im not a trash (DUH!) but they can make me feel like one! Imagine!...I really need some time off from all the problems that Im going through right now. And Im fucking needing someone that I can lean on...yes I do. Sounds weak huh? But Im being honest here. I need someone to love..someone who can love me. Im kind of desperate but Im not that desperate. Ya know..there are certain phases in your life where u wish there is someone for u to express your emotions, to hug, etc. I guess Im in that situation at the moment. I really do.
Arghh!!! Why? Why? Why do I need to go through this whole thing? I need an angel who can save me! Pleaseee....save me!...Im drowning and dying....I cant stand the pain, I cant stand the anger, I cant stand ..EVERYTHING!!! Gosh!!!!...
me out.!
I'll Be There
I'll be there
When no one is there for you
And you think no one cares
When the whole world walks out on you
And you think you're alone
I'll be there
When the one you care about the most
Could care less about you
When the one you gave your heart to
Throws it in your face
I'll be there
When the person you trusted
Betrays you
When the person you share all your memories with
Cant even remember your birthday
I'll be there
When all you need is a friend
To listen to you whine
When all you need is someone
To catch your tearsI'll be there
When your heart hurts so bad
You cant even breathe
When you just want to crawl up and dieI
'll be there
When you start to cry
After hearing that sad song
When the tears just won't
Stop falling downI'll be there
So you see I
'll be there until the end
This is a promise I can make
If you ever need meJust give me a call and..
I'll be there...
When no one is there for you
And you think no one cares
When the whole world walks out on you
And you think you're alone
I'll be there
When the one you care about the most
Could care less about you
When the one you gave your heart to
Throws it in your face
I'll be there
When the person you trusted
Betrays you
When the person you share all your memories with
Cant even remember your birthday
I'll be there
When all you need is a friend
To listen to you whine
When all you need is someone
To catch your tearsI'll be there
When your heart hurts so bad
You cant even breathe
When you just want to crawl up and dieI
'll be there
When you start to cry
After hearing that sad song
When the tears just won't
Stop falling downI'll be there
So you see I
'll be there until the end
This is a promise I can make
If you ever need meJust give me a call and..
I'll be there...
Love Is..
Love is like grass...If you fall on it, it may leave a stain and some temporary pain..but you'll get over the pain, it will eventually stop hurting. Now maybe the stain ruined your favorite pair of jeans, or maybe it was nothing special that was ruined, but either way the stain remains there. And with time it will begin to fade, but it will always be there, a permanent reminder that you, too, once fell....
If You Only Knew
If you only knew how much I cared for you...
You wouldnt need someone else
If you only knew how much I miss you...
You wouldnt see someone else
If you only knew how much I love you...
You wont leave me for someone else....
YES or NO?
I feel like writing something for my blog but I don't know what to say. My brain is not working that well lately. I have no mood to do any of my work or assignments. I feel like going out but I dont know where to go. Dammit...I have no idea what to say la.....Im just blank! Maybe because too many things going through my mind now. Should I be sad? or should I just pretend that nothing is going on. Everyting is just okay, normal! But how can I not think about it? I dont know what's the final decision would be. Hey, wait, why exactly I have to think about this? Im nobody, infact , I have no rights to think about this matter. But somehow the thing seems important to me. Why? Why? Is it because Ive developed my feelings or what? Maybe its true. I do care about it. Its going to affect me somehow. Expect the unexpected. Thats what Im goin to do. But what is the unexpected thing to expect? Which ONE? That would be the main question now. Nvm..I'll wait. Thats the only thing I could do now. Wait for the answer..with patience...
p/s: YES or NO? I'll be waiting for the answer...
p/s: YES or NO? I'll be waiting for the answer...
Saya Sayang Dia Juga
Saya sayang seorang lagi
Kenapa saya sayang dia?
Ntah..tetiba je datang
Macam mana saya sayang dia?
Nanti saya cerita
Saya tak kenal dia dulu
But now I know
Saya selalu cakap dengan dia
Dia kawan saya sekarang
Saya suka dengan dia jugak
Macam saya suka dengan adik saya tu
Saya senang bercakap dengan dia
Dia tahu buat saya tersenyum
Dia juga tahu buat saya ketawa
Dia ada persamaan dengan adik saya
Dia suka kacau saya
Dia juga sometimes buat saya marah
Tapi dia baik dengan saya
Saya rasa cara dia comel
Saya tak boleh marah lama
Saya mahu kenal dia lebih lagi
Sebab saya rasa dia best
Saya mahu sayang dia lebih lagi
Sebab saya rasa dia menyenangkan
Tapi dia banyak masalah
Saya tahu itu
Sebab dia ada kasitau saya
Kesian dia...
Saya mahu nyanyi untuk dia
Sebab saya suka nyanyi
Biarlah kalau dia kata suara saya tak sedap
Saya nak jugak nyanyi..
Saya mahu jumpa dia
Sebab saya nak tengok senyuman dia
Sebab saya nak dengar ketawa dia
Sebab saya nak tengok muka dia bila dia marah
Sebab saya nak tengok diri dia yang sebenar
Sebab saya nak dia tengok diri saya yang sebenar
Kalau dia tetiba tak suka kat saya
It's okay, saya tak kisah
Saya nak say thanx kat dia
Sebab sudi jadi kawan saya
Dia datang masa kawan2 saya semua takde
Saya rasa dia akan baca tulisan saya ini
Sebab tu saya tulis
Dia sayang saya tak?
Ntahlah
Kalaupun dia tak sayang saya
Macam saya sayang dia
Saya tak kisah
Tapi apa yang saya mahu
Saya nak dia tahu yang....
Saya sayang dia
Sebab dia buat saya selesa
Bila saya dengar suara dia
Dia yang saya maksudkan
Adalah dia..
Kenapa saya sayang dia?
Ntah..tetiba je datang
Macam mana saya sayang dia?
Nanti saya cerita
Saya tak kenal dia dulu
But now I know
Saya selalu cakap dengan dia
Dia kawan saya sekarang
Saya suka dengan dia jugak
Macam saya suka dengan adik saya tu
Saya senang bercakap dengan dia
Dia tahu buat saya tersenyum
Dia juga tahu buat saya ketawa
Dia ada persamaan dengan adik saya
Dia suka kacau saya
Dia juga sometimes buat saya marah
Tapi dia baik dengan saya
Saya rasa cara dia comel
Saya tak boleh marah lama
Saya mahu kenal dia lebih lagi
Sebab saya rasa dia best
Saya mahu sayang dia lebih lagi
Sebab saya rasa dia menyenangkan
Tapi dia banyak masalah
Saya tahu itu
Sebab dia ada kasitau saya
Kesian dia...
Saya mahu nyanyi untuk dia
Sebab saya suka nyanyi
Biarlah kalau dia kata suara saya tak sedap
Saya nak jugak nyanyi..
Saya mahu jumpa dia
Sebab saya nak tengok senyuman dia
Sebab saya nak dengar ketawa dia
Sebab saya nak tengok muka dia bila dia marah
Sebab saya nak tengok diri dia yang sebenar
Sebab saya nak dia tengok diri saya yang sebenar
Kalau dia tetiba tak suka kat saya
It's okay, saya tak kisah
Saya nak say thanx kat dia
Sebab sudi jadi kawan saya
Dia datang masa kawan2 saya semua takde
Saya rasa dia akan baca tulisan saya ini
Sebab tu saya tulis
Dia sayang saya tak?
Ntahlah
Kalaupun dia tak sayang saya
Macam saya sayang dia
Saya tak kisah
Tapi apa yang saya mahu
Saya nak dia tahu yang....
Saya sayang dia
Sebab dia buat saya selesa
Bila saya dengar suara dia
Dia yang saya maksudkan
Adalah dia..
You're Beautiful
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
One Last Cry
My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the she
lfI saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you,
nothing for me to do
But have one last cry
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lieI guess
I’m down to my last cry
Cry......
I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I know I gotta be strong
Cause round me life goes on and on and on
And on.....
I’m gonna dry my eyes
Right after I had my
One last cry
One last cry,
before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I’m down
I guess I’m downI
guess I’m down...
To my last cry...
Are mending on the she
lfI saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you,
nothing for me to do
But have one last cry
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lieI guess
I’m down to my last cry
Cry......
I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I know I gotta be strong
Cause round me life goes on and on and on
And on.....
I’m gonna dry my eyes
Right after I had my
One last cry
One last cry,
before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I’m down
I guess I’m downI
guess I’m down...
To my last cry...
My Dear
My dear,
Terima kasih atas segala2 nya
masa,
janji,
pengorbanan,
dan apa jua yg penah u berikan
terima kasihsemoga u happy selalu
bersama org yg tersayangtolong,
jgn lukakan hati die okay?
i will always love you
we will be friendsdont you worry
take carebe good
Rgrds
AdLuqman
Terima kasih atas segala2 nya
masa,
janji,
pengorbanan,
dan apa jua yg penah u berikan
terima kasihsemoga u happy selalu
bersama org yg tersayangtolong,
jgn lukakan hati die okay?
i will always love you
we will be friendsdont you worry
take carebe good
Rgrds
AdLuqman
Yang Ku Mau..
Seringnya ku berpikir sampai pernah
Tak jua ku temukan jalan keluarnya
Jika memang bukan ini sudah tamatkanlah
Karena ku tak mau waktu ku terbuang
Jangan memaksakan ini
Jika memang bukan ini
Karena sesuatu yang peka
Buat kita jadi masalah
Yang ku mau ada diri mu
Tapi tak begini keadaannya
Yang ku mau selalu dengan mu
Jika Tuhan mau begini
Rubahlah semua jadi yang ku mau
Karena ku ingin
Semua berjalan seperti yang ku mau
Jangan memaksakan ini
Jika memang bukan yang ini
Karena sesuatu yang peka
Buat kita jadi masalah
Tak jua ku temukan jalan keluarnya
Jika memang bukan ini sudah tamatkanlah
Karena ku tak mau waktu ku terbuang
Jangan memaksakan ini
Jika memang bukan ini
Karena sesuatu yang peka
Buat kita jadi masalah
Yang ku mau ada diri mu
Tapi tak begini keadaannya
Yang ku mau selalu dengan mu
Jika Tuhan mau begini
Rubahlah semua jadi yang ku mau
Karena ku ingin
Semua berjalan seperti yang ku mau
Jangan memaksakan ini
Jika memang bukan yang ini
Karena sesuatu yang peka
Buat kita jadi masalah
Easy To Like , But Hard To Love
"to like someone, may be easy
but to love is hard
to be nice with someone, may be easy
but to care is hard
to think about someone may be easy
but to remember is hard"
You may have thousands of friend in your myspace or wherever, but only few of em will remember, appreciate and respect you as a person. Friends can be easily found, good friends will be harder to find than friends, but GREAT FRIENDS will never be found if you do not know how to treat your friends and good friends kindly.
People may think friends are not that important. YES, they can be annoying or irritating, but once you've found the right friends to be with, you will never ever feel like leaving em. When all your relatives, let say, you parents or siblings are gone, only great friends will be there by your side.
So .. cherish your friends as much as you can.
=)
Kenapa?
Saya penat...saya letih..saya tak tau nak buat apa dah dan saya dah tak tau nak ckp ape. Saya tak tau kenapa semua bendi ni terjadi. Kenapa org buat saya camni??..Kenapa?..Saya jahat ke?...Saya byk lukakan hati org yg saya sayang ke? Agaknya memang saya ditakdirkan camni. Saya sayangkan org..tapi.......ntahla.Adakah saya terlalu memaksa? Adakah saya terlalu merasa dan terasa? Tapi saya ada perasaan Saya jugak ada masalah saya. Saya pun manusia biasa. Saya bukan superman okay!.Kadang2 bila saya pikir bukan2..yang elok2 jadi.Tapi bila saya pikir yg elok...haih...boleh kata yg saya tak terpikir yg jadi."expect the unexpected, coz when u expect the expected,the unexpected will hurt u and tear ur hearts apart"Mungkin betul. Ntahlah..saya betul2 bingung. Dah tak larat. Saya sedih sgt. Dahlah kawan2 saya rapat saya jauh. Kat mana lagi saya nak turn to?...Saya rasa hopeless...useless...semualah!Biarlah....mungkin sebab dulu saya pernah kecewakan org dan skang saya kena lagi for the second time.......karma got me. What goes around, comes around;what goes up must come down....
Patience is a virtue ....
Patience is a virtue ....
My All Time Fav Songs
1. I Surrender
2. My Baby You
3. When You Loved Someone
4. The Trouble With Love Is
5. We Belong Together
6. I Have Nothing
7. My All
8. Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word
9. Hard To Say I'm Sorry
10. Time After Time
11. It's All Coming Back To Me Now
12. I Will Always Love You1
3. Can't Take That Away
14. Through The Rain
15. I'll Never Break Your Heart
16. Cry Me A River
17. How Could I
18. Never Again
19. I Only Wanted
20. Because Of You
21. When You Believe
22. All By Myself
23. One Sweet Day
24. I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing
25. When She Loved Me
26. You've Got A Friend
27. Without You
28. Total Eclipse Of The Heart
29. Dancing With My Father
30. One Last Cry
31. Autumn Leaves
32. When I Fall In Love
33. Ain't Nobody
34. Gone
35. A Song For You
36. Everytime
37. Anytime You Need A Friend
38. Just To Hold You Once Again3
9. Where You Are
40. Dangerously In Love
phew...ada lagi...hahahaha
2. My Baby You
3. When You Loved Someone
4. The Trouble With Love Is
5. We Belong Together
6. I Have Nothing
7. My All
8. Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word
9. Hard To Say I'm Sorry
10. Time After Time
11. It's All Coming Back To Me Now
12. I Will Always Love You1
3. Can't Take That Away
14. Through The Rain
15. I'll Never Break Your Heart
16. Cry Me A River
17. How Could I
18. Never Again
19. I Only Wanted
20. Because Of You
21. When You Believe
22. All By Myself
23. One Sweet Day
24. I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing
25. When She Loved Me
26. You've Got A Friend
27. Without You
28. Total Eclipse Of The Heart
29. Dancing With My Father
30. One Last Cry
31. Autumn Leaves
32. When I Fall In Love
33. Ain't Nobody
34. Gone
35. A Song For You
36. Everytime
37. Anytime You Need A Friend
38. Just To Hold You Once Again3
9. Where You Are
40. Dangerously In Love
phew...ada lagi...hahahaha
If You Ever Did..
My heart is so fragileand it's so easy to break,So please treat it kindly for loves own sakeNever let my heart fall to the floor,Because if you ever didI could not love anymore.....
Maybe
There I was
Waiting for a chance
Hoping that you'll understand
The things I wanna say
As my love went stronger than before
I wanna see you more and more
But you closed your door
Why don't you try
To open up your heart
I won't take so much of your time
Maybe, it's wrong to say please love me too
'Coz I know you'll never do
Somebody else is waiting there inside for you
Maybe it's wrong to love you more each day
'Coz I know he's here to stay
But I know to whom you should belong
I believed what you said to me
We should set each other free
That's how you want it to be
But my love went stronger than before
I wanna see you more and moreBut you closed your door
Why don't you try to open up your heartI won't take so much of your time
Maybe, it's wrong to say please love me too
'Coz I know you'll never do
Somebody else is waiting there inside for you
Maybe it's wrong to love you more each day
'Coz I know he's here to stayBut my love is strong
I don't know if this is wrong
But I know to whom you should belong
.................................................................................................................
By King
Its a wonderful song..I like it so much!Taken from Sana'y Wala Nang Wakas
Waiting for a chance
Hoping that you'll understand
The things I wanna say
As my love went stronger than before
I wanna see you more and more
But you closed your door
Why don't you try
To open up your heart
I won't take so much of your time
Maybe, it's wrong to say please love me too
'Coz I know you'll never do
Somebody else is waiting there inside for you
Maybe it's wrong to love you more each day
'Coz I know he's here to stay
But I know to whom you should belong
I believed what you said to me
We should set each other free
That's how you want it to be
But my love went stronger than before
I wanna see you more and moreBut you closed your door
Why don't you try to open up your heartI won't take so much of your time
Maybe, it's wrong to say please love me too
'Coz I know you'll never do
Somebody else is waiting there inside for you
Maybe it's wrong to love you more each day
'Coz I know he's here to stayBut my love is strong
I don't know if this is wrong
But I know to whom you should belong
.................................................................................................................
By King
Its a wonderful song..I like it so much!Taken from Sana'y Wala Nang Wakas
Cinta
Begitu indah pabila dirasai, tapi amat pedih bila dikhinati. Kehidupan tanpa cinta ibarat dunia tanpa matahari, gelap, tiada warna, dan melemaskan. Tapi, ia juga ibarat malam tanpa bulan, tanpa bintang, begitu kosong,tiada kerlipan dan tiada sinaran yang menenangkan. Cinta ada di hati setiap manusia . Bermula dgn kasih, timbullah sayang, maka wujudlah cinta. Ianya saling berkaitan. Manusia memerlukan cinta untuk hidup, perlukan cinta untuk bernafas, dan perlukan cinta untuk mati. Memang cinta itu selalunya mampu membuat manusia lupa akan tujuan hidup, tapi cinta jugalah yang mampu memberi manusia panduan untuk mewarnakan kehidupan. Cinta memang senang untuk dilafazkan, tapi begitu sukar untuk dimaksudkan. Hati yang kecewa kerana cinta, amat sukar untuk dipulihkan kerna sekali cinta melekat di hati, kesan yang tinggal akan wujud selamanya jika hati dilukakan. Cinta yang suci lahir dari hati yang ikhlas dan jiwa yang luhur. Cinta yang palsu lahir dari hati yang gelap dan jiwa yang penuh nafsu.Hargailah cinta dengan sepenuhnya, maksudkan cinta dengan sejujurnya dan rasailah cinta sepuasnya, kerna kita manusia di dunia, tidak akan kekal selamanya........
Cerita Cinta.....
Menapak jalan yang menjauh
Tentukan arah yang ku mahu
Tempatkan aku pada satu peristiwa
Yang membuat hati lara...
Di dekat engkau aku tenang
Sandung matamu penuh tanya
Misteri hidup akankah menghilang
Dan bahagia di akhir cerita..
Cinta... Tegarkan hatiku
Tak mahu sesuatu merenggut engkau
Naluriku bergetar
Tak ingin terulang lagi
Kehilangan cinta hati
Bagai raga tak bernyawa
Aku....
Junjung petuahmu
Cintai dia yang mencintaiku
Hati yang dulu berlayar
Kini telah menepi
Bukankah hidup kita akhirnya
Harus bahagia.....?
Tentukan arah yang ku mahu
Tempatkan aku pada satu peristiwa
Yang membuat hati lara...
Di dekat engkau aku tenang
Sandung matamu penuh tanya
Misteri hidup akankah menghilang
Dan bahagia di akhir cerita..
Cinta... Tegarkan hatiku
Tak mahu sesuatu merenggut engkau
Naluriku bergetar
Tak ingin terulang lagi
Kehilangan cinta hati
Bagai raga tak bernyawa
Aku....
Junjung petuahmu
Cintai dia yang mencintaiku
Hati yang dulu berlayar
Kini telah menepi
Bukankah hidup kita akhirnya
Harus bahagia.....?
Soar throat,again!
Arghhhhh........it's killing me!!!!!!!!!.....I can't stand the pain....feverla, soar stroat la..whats happenin!! Please..im gonna start my classes soon, why now!!!!..I havent study anything...now i couldn't even look at the text book peningla!...what am i supposed to do??..what should i do?..next weekends ada test...malaysian studies dgn islamic studies plak tu..im not worried sgt la pasal malaysin studies...bab satu until 3 only..which exactly like history masa kat sekolah dulu..but islamic studies!!!....sux to the max!!...its not that i hate islam..well..im a muslim..i like subject agama a lot masa kat sekolah dulu, but this time, islamic studies kat coll i cant really dapat satu pun apa yg buku text tu tulis...its sooo lame...not intresting at all!!..its like readding..old english literature book...even worst than that..its like totally in diff language!!..so what should i do now?..I cant really study now in this condition..well whateverla..forget about it..i have plenty of time i guess next week soo im gonna concentrate on those subjects later...but for now..i hope after jumpa doctor later my soar throt yg teruk akan hilang...forever!!!..i don wanna kena soar troat anymore..cannot sleep..cannot speak...argh....stupid!!!....
Pheww..
Well...dah lama dah tak post anything here..rasa rindu plak.anyway ..sekarang college tgh cuti so I have no idea what to do. Ive done my homework (Im sick of opening accounts) but Malaysian Studies punya assignment belum start lagi. I dont know which topic yg I want to do. So lame laaaa....haish...I need to go to the National Library to find some information on those topic. The dateline is fo freaking near, and I have not started anything..good..Im screwed!..whatever!..I need to go to the mall to buy some clothes!!! I need to treat myself...but sadly I have to use my own money! I repeat my money!!!..arghhh...stupid government..because of you, i have to do that!..yala...minyak naik, itu naik, ini naik...sooo pathetic!..btw, for your info, Im currently studying Certified Accounting Technician (CAT) a fastrack program under ACCA....lebih kurang macam Diploma in Accounting dekat Baitulmal Professional Institute (IPB). Why I chose that course? I HAVE NO IDEA!!!..well my dad asked me to take accounting..soo okayla...now I kinda like..tak la boring sgt the course..lecturers pun okay..kawan pun okay cuma the admin je yg tak best..mentang2lah aku ni freshman..macam2 suruh buat...boring seh!....now why I chose that college?..I know I can do it somewhere else like INTI college or kat lain2 tempat...but this college offers FULL SCHOLARSHIP!! i repeat, FULL!! thats why!...hehehehe.....penat la type..tapi hilang gak boring aku....wel..continue later la bila dah ada idea nak tulis ...bye
Thanx Dad!
At last..after a few months of waiting..I got a brand new phone..and I'm happy because I do not have to suffer anymore. Wanna know why?..my old phone was like a nightmare to me..with wierd sounds and soon-going-to-die battery..thank god!..but my new phone is not that expensive la...no camera..but can play mp3 ringtones...okayla tu..lagipun my dad bought it for me ( the best part is, I don't need to use my savings..yay) ....that's why he didn't buy me the expensive ones...what do u expect?..he's not mr. trump!..haha..just kidding . The phone is kinda like a gift for my spm results..though i didn't get 10 a1s..or 17 a1s(that girl is crazy..:P)..but I managed to do it la (fyi..I got 5 as..the rest..pandai-pandai cari sendiri).....since my dad didn't want me to get a job...so I thought I have to wait for like another year to get a new phone..but suddenly my dad said he's going to buy me one...how wonderful...thanx dad..you're the best!!...p/s: I didn't get to say goodbye to my 2 yo phone...bye bye phone..I'm going to miss ya..thanks for everything :)
Misteri Hidup
"Misteri hidup akankah menghilang Dan bahagia di akhir cerita" Such a wonderful phrase. Hidup memang misteri. We never know what will happen next.Kita boleh merancang tetapi tuhan menentukan segalanya.Hidup ibarat roda yang berputar. Sometimes we can be on the top of the wheel but in a second, segalanya boleh berubah."Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are".I've discovered.I've learned from my mistakes,and I won't do the same misteakes ever again(I hope..).How I wish I could predict the future.To get a glimpse of what will happen to me. But like I said, ianya tidak akan terjadi. Misteri hidup ini tidak akan menghilang. Misteri akan kekal misteri. Cerita hidup ini tidak akan kita tahu akhirnya. adakah bahagia akan menjelang, atau derita bakal menanti?....we'll see..
Can We Be Friends Again?
Teman. Satu perkataan yang mempunyai maksud yang tersendiri bagi setiap individu. Ada yang mentafsirkan teman sebagai rakan atau kawan biasa dalam hari-hari yang dilalui. Ada juga yang menganggap teman sebagai seseorang yang rapat dan mampu memahami perasaan dan segala permasalahan yang ditanggung. Hakikatnya, teman diwaktu gembira, diwaktu kita ketawa memang senang dicari, tetapi teman dikala badai jiwa melanda amat sukar untuk ditemui. Kehidupan adakalanya bersikap tidak adil pada diri seseorang insan seperti kita. Dikala kita memerlukan seseorang yang bergelar teman untuk meluahkan segala isi tersirat, di waktu itulah kita merasakan seakan-akan tiada insan yang boleh kita panggil teman yang dapat memahami segalanya. Mungkin kita boleh menyatakan masalah diri pada teman yang sedia ada tetapi apa yang pasti teman tersebut tidak mungkin dapat merasai apa yang kita rasai dan bersiakap acuh tak acuh terhadap diri kita. Di waktu itu jugalah kita merasakan kita mememerlukan teman yang lain yang mungkin mempunyai connection yang lebih mendalam dengan diri kita. As for now, I'm still struggling to find a friend that can really understand me. Most of them love to judge me without knowing my true self. I just don't understand that! Why must you judge a book by its cover? People always said,"Don't worry, you'll find new friends." Memang kita akan jumpa teman baru but sometimes, teman lama adalah lebih baik dari teman baru. I would love to be friends again dengan teman-teman yang sudah lama tidak berbicara dan hang out together. But, can they accept me? I'm not being negative but we just sometimes tak boleh tahu apa yang orang lain fikir tentang kita, right? I hope one day peluang itu akan muncul."In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do."
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