Selamat Tinggal Cinta

I have been down for no apparent reason for the last few days. Maybe I do know the reason why but it’s hard for me. But I’m feeling slightly better today. Maybe because it’s Friday? Thank god it is.

I have decided to change my travel plan to Perhentian Island. Initially, I planned to go on June 27-29 to be exact but then my dad told me that he’s probably gonna be away during that time. He might be going to Gold Coast or Istanbul so it’s impossible for me to leave my mom and sis alone at home during that time. My dad also told me that he has already proposed the plan to the mayor and apparently the mayor has agreed. So I had to change my travel dates to 20th June until the 22nd June.

But after making some considerations and calculations, I think it’s better for me to go in July. So apa lagi, tukar lah lagi sekali! So now, I’ll be going to Perhentian on the 12th of July. Yay! Hopefully everything will be okay.

Anyway, I’m currently working on my third song. I have another song in mind but that song is quite hard for me to sing so I decided to put it on hold first and concentrate on this song. The working title of my new song is “Selamat Tinggal Cinta”. If my dad is available tonight, I might record it later at night so I can post it here as soon as possible.

Here’s the lyrics of the song :

Terbelah sudah rasa
Hatiku ini
Saat ku lihat dirimu
Dengan dia

Terhabis sudah rasa
Cintaku ini
Saat ku tahu
Kau berdusta

Mengalir airmata
Tanpa ku menyedarinya

C/O
Berjalan aku pergi
Tinggalkan dirinya
Berakhir semua ini
Selamat tinggal cinta
Cukuplah di sini
Jiwaku untuknya
Berakhir semua ini
Selamat tinggal cinta

I might add few more lines soon. So, tunggu ya!

Gotta go now. Cheers~

Untuk Pertama Kali

Aku temukan lagi sebuah cinta
Di dalam aura hadirmu
Aku rasakan kelembutan hati
Di mimpi indah kasihmu

Kita bisa nikmati rasa ini
Walau segalanya jelas terlarang
Kita bisa saling menyayangi dan mencoba
Tak perduli keadaan ini

Dan untuk pertama kali
Cintaku terbagi
Dan kuingin milikinya

Dan untuk pertama kali
Kusangkali janji
dan bahagia mencintainya

Untuk Pertama Kali, Kerispatih

Realize

Take time to realize
That your warmth is
Crashing down on in
Take time to realize
That I am on your side
Didn't I, Didn't I tell you

But I can't spell it out for you
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I cant spell it out for you

If you just realize what I just realized
Then we'd be perfect for each other
And will never find another
Just realized what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder if
We missed out on each other now

Take time to realize
Oh-oh I'm on your side
Didn't I, didn't I tell you
Take time to realize
This all can pass you by
Didn't I tell you

But I can't spell it out for you
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I can't spell it out for you

If you just realized what I just realized
Then we'd be perfect for each other
Then we'd never find another
Just realized what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder if
We missed out on each other now

It's not always the same
No it's never the same
If you don't feel it too
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way
It could be the same for you

If you just realize what I just realized
Then we'd be perfect for each other
Then we'd never find another
Just realize what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder
Just realize what I just realized

If you just realize what I just realized

Realize, Colbie Caillat

This one is for you.

Rantings

I can't actually believe that time flies really fast. It is almost half of the year.
I'll be entering my 7th month working with this company. It has been quite a rollercoaster ride for me.

Saya tak pasti apa yang saya rasa sekarang ini, tapi yang nyata banyak benda yang telah berubah. Banyak benda yang saya dah belajar dan kenyataannya ada antara benda-benda itu buat saya lebih kenal erti kehidupan sebenar.

I've recently met few new people.

Orang orang yang saya tak pernah kenal before this. But they are definitely very nice people. Well, everyone has their own flaws and I certainly won't be judging them based on that.

At this age, people might say that I'm still young and I have a long way to go. People might tell me to just enjoy this period of time and don't think about unnecessary matters. Tapi saya rasa mungkin pendapat mereka salah. I'm not a boy anymore. I'm a grown up person. Age is just a number.

Usia tak menunjukkan tahap sebenar diri seseorang. You can be a 40 year old guy, but you might have an attitude yang selalunya ada pada kanak-kanak yang berusia 9 tahun. Kan? We never know.

To be matured is important. It will help you to deal with your life crisis, problems and etc. Saya tak cakap yang saya sedang menempuhi sebarang life crisis but I know I am having a crisis. Saya tak tahu apa yang saya nak pada waktu ini.

There are so many things in my mind. Saya tak pasti apa yang patut saya buat. Perlu atau tidak untuk saya memikirkan perkara-perkara itu atau saya seharusnya biarkan benda-benda itu pergi dengan secara sendiri.

It can be distracting somehow.

Saya perlukan sesuatu yang saya tak tahu apa yang saya inginkan. Saya inginkan sesuatu yang saya tidak tahu apa yang saya cari. Saya cari sesuatu yang belum lagi saya jumpa.

Bila saya lihat kehidupan orang lain yang ada disekeliling saya, somehow saya rasa jealous dengan kehidupan mereka. I do know that they have thier own problems to handle but sometimes I feel that I don't have what they have. I feel empty.

June is coming. I'm not sure whether I'll be accepted to join the National Choir or not, but if I do get chosen, it's gonna be a hectic month for me. I guess it will do me good because it will somehow help to get my mind of something that I have been thinking of all this while.

That something yang saya ingat saya dah mampu untuk hapuskan tapi masih tetap ada. Tak pasti kenapa sebab benda itu bukanlah bagus sangat. Entahlah.
I'm gonna end this here for now. Jiwa kacau. Kan?

He

He's more than just a guy.
More than just an average guy

Every blink of his eyes
Like the glittering stars in the sky

His smile weakens every veins
It's beautiful you won't feel the pain

His smell is intoxicating
It's dangerous, am not lying

How could you resist?
Something that brings you bliss

The thought of him makes you dream
It makes you just wanna scream

How deep you feel you can't tell
You just have to hide it well

Oh no you can't take it no more
The pressure is up, you try to ignore

Deep in your heart there's a love you feel
The feelings so strong it seems unreal

What do you do when you're alone?
The strength you've had now it's gone

Will he ever know?
The secret hidden you'll never show

Till the last moment you will see
Hoping you'll set the feelings free

But you know eventually you'd cry
For you have to say the last goodbye

Who is he?
I don't know

Falling Again

I'm tired with this madness.

When I'm just about to get over things, something else comes. It's weird. Am I not learning from my experience or this kind of madness "loves" to haunt me?

Now I have to do things all over again. I don't wanna be in this battle of emotions anymore. It's so tiring. I should be numb by now, but I'm not. Wish I could so that I don't have to feel any pain.

I'm not weak. I know that. I shouldn't be thinking, hoping or wanting something unnecessary and uncertain.

Falling again? Man, you gotta change.Or you'll be in the same trouble for-ever! Seriously.

Something New

Hello people,

I've decided to change my blog's template. What do you guys think?

Sampai Mati

This is my second original composition.

SAMPAI MATI

Maafkan aku kerna terlewat waktu
Untuk diriku mengaku kesilapanku
Kini kau telah tiada
Sukarnya untuk ku terima
Cinta dikau hadir
Untuk sekejap saja

C/O
Sampai mati
Ku bawa cinta ini
Sampai mati
Kan ku simpan sesal ini
Luluh hatiku mengenangmu
Tak mungkin bisa ku melupakan dirimu

Ku tak sengaja buatmu terluka
Bukan niatku untuk buatmu kecewa
Aku tahu kau derita
Maafkanlah diriku oh cinta
Kau hadir untuk sekejap saja

C/O
Sampai mati
Ku bawa cinta ini
Sampai mati
Kan ku simpan sesal ini
Luluh hatiku mengenangmu
Tak bisa lagi ku melupakan dirimu

Tak mampu lagi untukku menanggung rindu ini
Bila ku merasakan sakitnya
Tak akan lagi bisa terbuka hatiku ini
Untuk menerima cinta..

C/O
Sampai mati
Ku bawa cinta ini
Sampai mati
Kan ku simpan sesal ini
Luluh hatiku mengenangmu
Tak bisa lagi ku melupakan dirimu

Music & Lyrics : Adi Luqman

Ilham Di Matamu

I'm not really a fan of Mila but I do appreciate her talent. She is a good singer with a huge potential to be better. I was rooting for her during her days in AF5 because she showed effort and improvements.

This particular song has been playing on my Ipod non stop. I don't know what's so special about this song. It doesn't really mean anything to me as the storyline doesn't relate to my real life situation but there is something about this song. The melody to me is just perfect. The lyrics are good. The emotion in this song is fantastic. Everything about this song is good to me. That's why I'm sharing it here. Enjoy the song and the video. This song is gonna be huge.

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

I never want to use this song to express my feeling. But I feel like doing it now.

The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun rose in your eyes
And the moon and stars were the gifts you gave
To the dark and the empty skies, my love,
To the dark and the empty skies.

The first time ever I saw your face, your face,
your face, your face

Tak Bisa Memilihmu

Telah jauh terpisah, diriku dan dirimu,
Dalam ruang dan waktu,
Sendiriku jalani sepiku, tanpa dirimu,
Resahku tanpa hadirmu,
Sungguh berat hatiku untuk merasakannya

Salahku mencintai dirinya saat jauhku terpisah
Darimu,Dan hadirnya menyentuh hatiku,
Untuk cintainya,
Hatiku pun inginkannya,
Hingga runtuh setiaku kepada dirimu

Kusakiti hatimu yang tulus mencintaiku

Maaf ku tak bisa memilih dirimu
Karena kuterhanyut mencintai dia
Inilah salahku yang memberi ruang
Didalam hatiku tuk mencintainya

Terhanyut jiwa ini,Terjatuh dihatinya

Tak Bisa Memilihmu,6ixth Sense

Yang Kau Cinta

Salahku mengingin dirimu
Biar jelas kau bukan milikku
Ku cuba 'tuk menahan resah hati
Daripada menanggung rindu ini

Berperang aku
Dengan diriku
Tewas lagi jiwa ini
Beralah aku
Dengan dinginmu
Biarku ku pergi
Undurkan diri

Salahku mengharap dirimu
Biar nyata kau milik dirinya
Aku cuba 'tuk memujuk pilu hatiku
Daripada menanggung rasa rindu

Cubalah untuk kau mengerti
Dan cubalah kau 'tuk fahami
Mengapa aku merasa begini

Berperang aku
Dengan diriku
Tewas lagi jiwaku ini
Beralah aku
Dengan dinginmu
Biarku ku pergi
Undurkan diri

Dan disini ku akhiri rasa
Lelah sudah ku tanggung semua
Ku mengharap
Engkau kan terus bahagia
Bersama dia
Yang kau cinta

Music & Lyrics : Adi Luqman 13/05/2008

This is actually a song. My first original composition. I have recorded it last night but I haven't got the chance to upload it properly. I'll do it tonight.

It might sound a lil bit like an old skool malay song from the 90s. Haha. Cut me some slack ya? :P

The song has its own meaning. It's about someone who is...not to say in love..but having some feelings for someone else but unfortunately that someone is taken and this person actually knows about it. Just that, this person can't do much about it because the other person is sometimes being cold. So this person decides to just keep the feelings inside and move on with life, although it's very hard. Typical? Maybe. But this person has no other choice.

The song is a bit gloomy. I imagine it to be accompanied by a piano and violins. Maybe an acoustic guitar also. Wah. How nice eh?

*Updated*
Here's the song. Enjoy!

YANG KAU CINTA

For You

Dinginnya getaran asmara
Sentuhan mula bermadah
Ku tak bisa juarai
Jiwa yang ku tak punya

Dinginnya bila kau berkata
Ruang buat ku tiada
Memoriku gengamilah
Biarkan aku beralah

Dingin, Ziana Zain

Ku cuba redakan relung hati
Bayangmu yang berlalu pergi
Terlukis di dalam kenangan
Bebas bermain di hatiku

Harusnya takkan ku biarkan kau pergi
Membuat ku terpuruk rasa ingin mati
Derita yang mendera kapan akan berakhir
Hanya engkau yang mampu taklukkan hatiku

Hanya Kau Yang Mampu, Aizat

Truth, Secrets and Lies

It’s hard when you know the truth but you can never be honest about it. You have to keep it to yourself and pretend that you know nothing but the real truth is, you do know something.

How are you supposed to contain your feelings when it has been bothering you every now and then? This feeling is enormous. It’s like a time bomb. Waiting to explode. I don’t know how much longer I can hold on to the secrets and lies. I have told myself not to be a part of any complicated matters that will complicates my heart but I have, unintentionally.

I wish I could just come clean but I can’t because it will ruin every-single-thing. I don’t want to lose anything anymore. I am tired of losing. But how could I win it? Seems impossible.

Wish I could let you know my buddy. Wish I could.

One Last Chance

At the moment, I'm trying to fix my life. All this while, it has been quite a mess, at least to me. I have been feeling blue all the time. My emotions are unstable. There are so many things on my mind. It bothers me to know that I can't solve my own problem. But the truth is, I couldn't explain what my problem is. It's very hard for me to have these feelings and it's complicated. I don't know how long it will last but I just hope somehow it will go away so that I can just move on with my life. Although I can forsee it to vanish, maybe in a few weeks time, but the thought of bearing the pain is just so painful to me.

I'm trying to find peace in my heart. I'm trying hard. I just want everything to be better.

When I'm sad or not in a happy condition, I always listen to songs. It calms me down and it will somehow put my mind off things that I have been focusing on. Although sometimes, the meaning of the songs does relate to the real situation that I'm facing. How good eh?

I have been a fan of James Morrison since the first time I heard his song on the radio. His voice is very soothing to me. I started to look for his other songs. I got his whole album and I can tell you, every single song in the album is worth listening.

One of his songs that I love so much is 'One Last Chance'. It's a brilliant song with a very deep meaning. Here's the lyric of the song :

In my life I don't mean much to anyone
I've lost my way can't go
back anymore
Once I had everything now it's gone
Don't tell me again coz
I've heard it all before

Some people say that I'm not worth it
I've made mistakes but nobody's perfect
Guess I'll give it a try

I've got one last chance to get myself together
I can't lose no more time it's now or never
And I try to remember who I used to be
I've got one more chance to get
myself together

The time has come for me to change again
I can't carry on like this, I will lose my friends
Don't say that you have given up on me
Just give me the time and space to heal my head

I don't wanna be misunderstood
I've got to take this chance and make it into something good

Beautiful I'd say.

There are also few other songs by different artiste that has been playing on my Ipod at the moment. Every single one touches my heart in its own way.

1. Cukuplah Sekali - Jay Jay/Carefree (It's so sad)
2. Tak Bisa Memilihmu - 6ixth Sense (Ahh..the piano..the lyrics...)
3. Berhenti Berharap - Sheila On 7 (I can play half of this song!)
4. Kerana - Alleycats (reminds me of someone)
5. Senandung Semalam - Alleycats (such a sad love song)
6. Setahun Sudah Berlalu - Alleycats ( gosh..why so sad!)
7. Seribu Bintang - Alleycats (reminds me of that person)
8. Ketulusan Hati - Anuar Zain (am i in love with you?)
9. Tinggalkan Aku - Anuar Zain ( such a nice song)
10. Teman Terulung - Anuar Zain (wish I could have one)
11. The Pieces Don't Fit Here Anymore - James Morrison ( very deep song)
12. Dealova - Once (my all time favorite)

I'm a hopeless romantic, I know. Haha.

I'll be away this weekend. just for two days. It's not really far from KL. I've been looking forward to have a break although this one is not the one that I have been hoping for. It's okay for me. I hope I'll get the opportunity. I just need sometime away from everything. Maybe to an island far away. Haha. Dont know. Been thinking that but my parents certainly would not allow me to go alone. But I don't have anyone to go with. Well, I don't have anyone interested to go with me. How pathetic.

Erm. Hopefully, I'll manage to get myself together. InsyaAllah. That's all for now. Cheers~

Assalamualaikum.

A Hole In My Heart

My 2nd Artwork : A Hole In My Heart

Loneliest Fantasy?

I really cant remember when was the last time I painted something. Back when I was a kid, I love to draw and paint. I was quite artistic. Haha. After such a long time, I started to paint again. Well, I barely can remember how to hold a brush. Besides singing, this is another way for me to express my feelings and emotions. By drawing, and painting. Here's my first artwork. I dunno what's the title it but I love it so much. Maybe I'm gonna call it, Loneliest Fantasy? Maybe. But it doesn't make any sense. Haha!

Cant Get You Outta My Mind

It's like a drug

Trying hard to control

It seems impossible

Can't get you outta my mind

What am I supposed to do?