To Be Or Not To Be

Here I go again, writing sad stuff about my life. My life has always been like this. Maybe not always, that is just an exaggeration.But I am lying if I say that I am okay. I'm am going through a very complicated phase of my life.

I don't know how sad I am at the moment. Very sad I would say. My life, I guess is going to be slightly different after this. I have made up my mind. I have to look for a job. I need to occupy myself with things so that I won't be able to think about unnecessary stuffs that would make my emotions go unstable. Few of my friends are leaving. They are going to continue their studies. New semester, new things. One of them are going to finish of his study, all the best for him. Hopefully he'll do good during is presentation. Others? They are going to be busy with their work. I can't stop 'em. It's their life and I hope for the best.

I'm just gonna be here. As usual.

Friends come and go. Some will just disappear and some will leave a mark in your heart that can never be erased by anyone or anything. I would prefer them to just disappear so that I don't have to think about them again. And so that i don't have to miss them. But that is not how things work. You can't just simply choose. It will just happen without you realising it. How terrible.

It is happening to me now. I'm sad. Sad as hell. The thought of I am going to miss my friends is unbearable.

I have to let go.That is the best thing for me. Hopefully I can.

"I hope I can let you go..
I hope I can throw my feelings away..
I hope that I don't have to think of you
I hope that I don't have to miss you
Ever again.

But I know I can never do that in just a day
Maybe a week? A month? A year?
I will never know
Nobody knows
Wish you'd understand
How deep it is
How true it is
The things I have for you
The things I would give to you

Letting go
Is what I need to do
Though I'm dying to hear you
Though I'm dying to see you
I know that i can never
Never do what I want to
Hope you'll stay the same
Because that what makes you, you..
I Love You."

By Adi Luqman