Another Day of Loneliness

I have been staying home for 4 days now. That is an accomplishment. I have never stayed at home that long unless I am sick or something like that. I have quit my job. Not officially, but I haven't gone to work for 2 days now. I guess by tomorrow or Sunday, I'll be terminated. Nothing new in my life lately. Been spending my time in my room, doing some graphic work. I'm not an expert but I like it. Been creating some banners and headers for my blogs using Adobe Photoshop. It's fun. It keeps me busy all day.

I'm feeling so lonely right now but I am definitely feeling a lot better than last week. Probably I managed to get my mind of certain things. I am still working on it. I miss my friends. I miss them. I seriously do. I miss my time with them. Maybe some of them won't realize it because they are too busy with their life. Or maybe they are too busy with their "new" friends. I may not be in their list of friends anymore. I did try sending sms to a friend of mine, but since last week, I didn't get any reply from him. I don't know what to think or do. Maybe I'm just not fit to be his friend anymore. If that's the case, I guess there's nothing else I could do. Hopefully he'll be happy always with his life.

Last Monday I wanted to have dinner with a friend of mine whom I had an argument with last week. So I smsed him, but he declined my request. I accepted his reasons though. And that was the last thing I heard from him. Till today, I haven't received any smses or calls from him. I don't know whether that's a good sign or not. Probably he needs time. Or probably he doesn't care at all. I have no idea. Should I call him? Should I sms him? Again. I do not know. I don't want my calls or smses to be ignored like what the other person did. I'm sorry for what I have done but I'm not regretting it at all. I just did what's best in my mind. I don't think that II have offended anyone. It was be who was being offended, but like I said, I'm better now. Recovering.

" I am alone at the crossroads, I'm not at home in my home, And I've tried and tried, To say what's on my mind, You should have known"

Have you ever imagined being in a situation where you don't know what you should do? To think about yourself or the others? To take care of your heart or the other's? Have you?

I'll let time tells. There are reasons behind everything. I hope it's gonna be a great one. To you Friend, hopefully you'll do good in your exams. All the best to you. To Awak, thanks for being there for me although we are thousand miles apart. Thank you very much.

PICTURE OF MY LIFE

I never had a dream that I could follow through
Only tears left to stain, dry my eyes once again
I dont know who I am, or what Im gonna do
Been so long Ive been hopelessly confused
This can never really end, its infinitely sad
Can someone tell me when
Something good became so bad
So if you have a cure
To me would you please send
A picture of my life
With a letter telling how
It should really be instead

The precipice is there
But will I ever dare
Throw myself in the sky, so at last I can die
See Ive become a man
Who holds nothing too dear
Who will mind if I just disappear
This can never really end, its infinitely sad
Can someone tell me when
Something good became so bad
So if you have a cure
To me would you please send
A picture of my life
With a letter telling how
It should really be instead