Down Memory Lane

Strolling down the pathways of my life, it reminds me of all the memories I have left and will be leaving. I’m a grown up now. I have been through many obstacles in life, suffered and survived. But those obstacles are just little introductions of the major ones to come and to be faced by no other person than me.

Strolling back down the pathways I have taken, I have never realized until this very moment, how different I have been. I am not the old person I used to be. Many things I said I would never do, I have done. People that I swore I would never hurt, I have already hurt. I know that change is something I can never avoid. Without realizing it, I am changing.

I don’t know what future lies for me. Nobody does except for Allah the Almighty. Only he knows what he has already planned and decided for me. All I know, I have not been that devoted to him. My mistakes.

As I stroll back down the memory lane of my life, how happy I am to know that I have met many people whose spirit and life have given tremendous influence to me. How happy I am to know that I am still having few of them in my life, to share the joy and happiness, to have shoulders to cry on and to enjoy every single day in peace and harmony.

Life takes funny turns at time
In just merely 4 days, 2007 will be over, for good. Another year will pass by me. A year filled with sadness, joy, love, betrayal, lies, mistakes and emptiness. My life took so many funny turns. Funny turns that weren’t even funny anymore. I once said, life is so cruel just because I was in a very stressful situation. I was devastated, frustrated and I shall say, dumb.
But the truth is, life is not being cruel to me, or to anyone else. Life is just, unpredictable. “The future none can see and the road we leave behind, ahead lies mystery”.

Life is a learning process. You grow older, you’d become wiser. That’s what I believe in. And yes, I believe I am wiser than before. I am wiser today than yesterday. Sounds pathetic but I do believe in it.

Whatever significant events or thing that has happened to me for the last one year, they shall remain in my heart as memories that I will never forget. I still miss the one that I have lost. The waves of the anger and frustrations have swiped away the love that I have kept inside but the tracks are still fresh as ever.

I’m crying as I’m moving on. I’m crying as I’m thinking of all the things I should have and should not have done. I’m crying as I’m thinking of all the bad things that I have committed. I’m crying as I’m thinking about all the hearts that I have hurt. How terrible I was as a person. God, forgive me.

No fear I have in me, for what’s coming in the future. No fear I have in me, though I know I’m growing older. There no options given. It is a fact, proven. I just hope I could get through the sunny days and the rainy days, without being burned or drenched in water.

I wish I could be better.
I wish my life would be better.
I wish to have more friends.
I wish to be happy.
I wish I could share the happiness.
I wish, and still wish, and will be wishing.

Someone is leaving me. I don’t know how to cope with it, but I’ll be as strong as I can.

God, please give me strength so I can prevail.
Let me climb the stairs of love to have a glimpse of your heaven. Let me climb the stairs of love to feel the sincerity of others. Let me climb the stairs of love to be what I want to be. Let me, and please…let me.

Amin.

Goodbye 2007, thanks for all the memories.
Goodbye my love, I'll be missing you.

Happy New Year To All Of You.

Melawan Kesepian

Apapun yang terjadi
Berjalanlah tanpa henti
Air mata yang tertahan
Waktunya tuk di jatuhkan

Nanti kita kan tahu
Betapa bijaknya hidup
Sepahit apapun ini
Pelajaran yang berarti

Semoga kepergianmu
Tak akan merubah apapun
Semoga mampu kulawan
Kesepianku...

Nanti kita kan tahu
Betapa bijaknya hidup
Sepahit apapun itu
Pelajaran yang berarti

Semoga kepergianmu
Tak akan merubah apapun
Semoga mampu kulawan
Kesepianku...

Semoga kepergianmu
Tak akan merubah apapun
Semoga mampu kulawan
Kesepianku...

Di Sudut Gelap Mentari

berkecai hati terhempas tak bersambut
sendiri ku pungut cebis derainya
bersama raga nan hampa melara
ku hanyut terbiar dalam gelora

ingin benar ku jadi milikmu
hingga akhir masa kita bersama
namun mimpi dan hakikat berlaga
nurani ku jua jadi mangsanya

lalu ku pergi
membawa diri ini ke sana menjauh
mencari teduh di sudut gelap mentari
merawat kembali serpihan hati
di gelap mentari

hanya kau yang lebih tahu mahumu
perasaanmu tak bisa ku paksa
keputusan mu yang pedih menyiksa
hanya mampu ku berdiam terima

lalu ku pergi membawa diri ini ke sana menjauh
mencari teduh di sudut gelap mentari
merawat kembali serpihan hati
tiada ruang redup teduh buatku
menghuni tanpa ada bayangmu
melingkari hidupku

sungguh aku menyintai dirimu
namun hati mu tak bisa ku paksa
keputusan yang terlalu menyiksa
hanya mampuku berdiam terima

lalu ku pergi
membawa diri ini ke sana menjauh
mencari teduh disudut gelap mentari
merawat kembali serpihan hati
di gelap mentari...di gelap mentari...


Maya Karin
OST Anak Halal
2007

p/s: touching :(

Anak Halal : Halal Ditonton

Yesterday, I have been invited by a good friend of mine who is also a well known blogger ( well known la kan? Muahaha), Mr Ajami Hashim for an unofficial gala night screening (sebab ada goodie bags segala!) of the lastest Osman Ali’s movie, ANAK HALAL.

I don’t really do reviews but sometimes I do. So here is my take on the movie:

Amazing cast! That’s all I can say.

Putting aside Maya’s “weird” street-malay accent, her acting was better than any of her previous work especially those in Shuhami Baba’s movie. She has elevated herself to a different level. Props to her. The body language, the emotions and the way she portrayed her character, really good.

I never knew Farid Kamil is such a great actor! I just love him in this movie. His acting was natural. I can never imagine anyone else playing Inderaputra. Osman chose ( I believe he did) the perfect actor for the part.

The rest of the cast were really great too especially Adiputra, Raja Farah (the psycho girl), Fauzi Nawawi, Bront, Remy Ishak ( goodness gracious me!) and the others. Even Fasha was good. Well, compared to her previous movies, I think this is her best to date ( but not as good as Maya, which is clearly the HEROINE of this movie..she saved the HERO…so..DUH! ). But her voice is such a turn off! Major one! Although I can say her acting, to me, is around the same level as Erra Fazira (which I’m still wondering how she managed to win the best actress award few years ago) but at least Erra has a pleasant voice.

In terms of storyline, I can understand it. There were humors here and there, scene ganas pun banyak, few of romance , many actions, screaming, shouting, and not to mention, quacking ( Fasha was really good at this). Osman managed to show the other side of Kuala Lumpur. I like it. The alleys, the bawah jambatan port, the atas flat port, and the life of people living in the projects ( public housing/flats) which rarely pictured in other malay dramas or movies and other stuffs too.

I have zero knowledge in filmmaking, so I’m not going to talk about the technical side like the plots, the script, the editing and also the art direction work. All I can say the movie captured me as a whole. It can be better though. Congrats to the team for making such a good movie. Thanks to Ajami. And oh, I met Bront and Remy. They were nice. Have I mentioned, goodness gracious me? I guess I did. Ajami would understand. Hehehe

3.5/5 Stars. Well done! Memang HALAL untuk ditonton.