Listen

I am wondering, where would I be in few years time? What would I become? Am I gonna have all that I want right now? Or will I still be searching for the things that I want, right now? What do I want exactly? That is something which has been bothering me lately. I have no idea what I want right now. What am I seeking at the moment. So far, I have been through some unfortunate events. It has been a bad start. I've got my exam results, it was bad. Bad enough to make me numb till I can't cry. Or am I just tougher than before? Maybe, but I am definitely not happy with it. So many other things happened to me for the last few weeks. The things that left me feeling so, unlucky.

Few weeks ago, I told a friend of mine what I have been feeling lately. I told him what I felt at that moment. The conversation didn't help me much though, but I felt better after telling him all the things which has been bothering me all this while. Actually, I thanked him for being my friend. I told him that I enjoyed having him , and his other friends, as my friends. They kept me entertained and help me to forget stuffs that will distract me and my emotions. Maybe right now I am at the stage where I will not know what I am right now, what will I be in the future, or what exactly I want at the moment. Transition phase maybe. I am trying my best to control my emotions and feelings. I do not want my feelings to control me, but I'm afraid somehow I will lose control of myself and ended being someone different. Someone that I will not know.

Will my life be any better soon? Hopefully.

This song has nothing to do with me. But somehow I think it does. In some ways, I guess. Just read and enjoy the lyrics. Goodnite.

LISTEN

Listen to the song here in my heart
a melody I start but can't complete

Listen to the sound from deep within
Its only beginning to find release

Ohh the time has come for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own, all 'cause you won't listen

Listen
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried
To say whats on my mind
You should have known
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what
You've made of me
I followed the voice, you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own
You should have listened

There was someone here inside
Someone I thought had died
So long ago
Oh I'm screaming out
And my dreams will be heard
They will not be pushed Aside or turned
Into your own
All 'cause you won't listen

Listen
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried
To say whats on my mind
You should have known
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what
You've made of me
I followed the voice, you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own
You should have listened

I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving on
If you don't, if you won't

Listen to the song here in my heart
A melody I start, but I will complete

Now I am done believing you
You don't know not what I am feeling
I'm more than what you've made of me
I followed the voice you think you gave to me

But now I got to find my own - my own....

Beyonce Knowles
Dreamgirls OST
2007